What does he mean/want... Really need a guys opinion

[icelady1983]

I am in a really confusing situation with my boyfriend at the moment and I would really love your opinions/ideas.

All seemed to be going well with my boyfriend. He was the one who done all the chasing and said he wanted to see me.

Until the other day. I got a message saying he does not feel that he can concentrate on a relationship at the moment and that he needs some time and space as he has a lot on his mind and some baggage.

I tried to call and talk but he did not answer so it was all done via message.

I said I accept and understand that but I dont want things to be ended by txt

He said that he is not ending things, he just wants to be honest, hope I can respect that and he needs some time and space.

On Wends he got in contact with me and asked how I was and we messaged each other a few times and he asked if we was still on for Sat as we had made plans before this all happend and I said yes if you are.

He also messaged me yesterday asking if I would like to stay on Friday and asked how my day is going.

I spoke to him on the phone last night and he said that he is fine, just felt we was moving fast and that he wants to slow things down as he has a lot of baggage. I said im happy to do that.

I also messaged him later saying im happy with taking things slower as I know he has been through a lot and I have been hurt a lot in the past and want to be careful.

Today he messaged me about a housing scheme he has found out about and I messaged back asking questions.

He asked how the interviews went and he said in the message maybe we can double up "As Friends" in inverted commers like I have put it on here.

He has not changed a relationship status on face book and has not said that we have ended so im bafflled.

From the message that ive sent do you think he has the impression that I only want to be friends? What does he mean from all the things that I have said?

I am so confused about this and would really appreciate your help. Thank you.

[Yggdrasil]

IC.. He wants to be friends 'with benefits'. Tell him to go fly a kite.

If you even have one ounce of self respect you kick this guy's butt from here to kingdom come.

[icelady1983]

He said that the relationship is not over. He is not ending things, just wants to slow things down and have some space and time.

He is the one who done all the chasing in the first place and yesterday he asked me how my day is going and if I would like to stay over on Friday.

He is 26 and im 25. He has left it on facebook saying we are in a relationship.

He was the one who done all the chasing, initating, said he wants to go steady, make it offical etc in the beginning before this all happend.

He even said a couple of times before hand that he hopes will we be together for a long time and he does not want anything to ruin it.

[raptor5618]

Another vote from a male that he is looking for FWB. When he said he needed time and space my guess is that he thought he had a shot at an ex or another one he had been after.

That he chased you has no bearing on this at all. In fact, to me it adds on one more negative for you. He chased, he caught and either it was not mind blowing, or the thrill of the chaise is over but he has not found a replacement yet.

What would going slow mean. My guess is that you would hook up on a weekend probably only one night. Anyone who says they want a long future with someone they have known for a short while is talking from hormones and not from a relationship that has developed which takes lots of time.

If you want to keep him happy by fulfilling his needs have fun. But he is not thinking about relationship when he talks to you. He may grow to want more than that but right now it is nothing but physical desire.

[Gigabitch]

No, I'm not a guy, but I simply must ask: What, exactly, does he mean by "baggage"?

This could be sooooo many things. His ex just told him she's pregnant. He was just contacted by the health department because someone tested positive for AIDS and put him on a list of sexual partners. He just found out he might have to go to jail for a few months. His mother has just been committed to an asylum for the dangerously insane.

I mean, really. What is this baggage?

[Bumble_bee]

I have to agree with the guys on this one, to tell you he wants to slow things down and that he needs space, then to go on and ask you to spend the night seems to me that he is either way confused or playing a fame with you. He cooled things off to get a reaction, but my theory only works if you guys have not yet slept together. But if you have not yet hit the sack with him, this could be a ploy to get you in it.....

[Yggdrasil]

He said that the relationship is not over. He is not ending things, just wants to slow things down and have some space and time.

Cool, give him his space and time. He can return once he made up his mind right?

He even said a couple of times before hand that he hopes will we be together for a long time and he does not want anything to ruin it.

Well he's doing a great job right now screwing things up... isn't he?

[Robert Angier]

I have to agree with the previous opinions. I would give him space and time and while you are doing that you need to clear your own mind and then see where you are and how exactly you feel. You also need to have a talk with him later about this "baggage" issue.

[Lite]

If he really does have baggage, then I suggest he get counseling and/or therapy to deal with it. Otherwise it is going to affect your relationship in a very negative manner.

He's trying to warn you off.