Move in OR Break up??

[LassieGirl]

I'm going to try to keep this short, in hopes that people will actually read it and reply. My bf and I have been together for 4 years now (age: early 20's), of which the past year we've been doing semi long distance (seeing each other only on weekends). I'm going to school in the fall in a different province and he currently doesn't have any plans for school or a job. He said he would move with me and that we would live together, which is what I dreamed about for so long. However, I feel as if moving in together at this point and at this age would make it all feel so permanent, in that if we live together now we'll be living together for the rest of our lives, which doesn't make it very appealing. I'm afraid of feeling trapped. I have such a deep love for him and he truly is one of my best friends, but I'm starting to feel like I need to experience life apart from him and be independent for once. I admit that I do miss the excitement of dating and I do wonder what else is out there, and, even though we're not talking about marriage, I feel like moving in together is like settling down, and I'm not sure if I want to do that at such a young age. BUT, on the other hand, I don't want to move to a big city alone, with the possibility of not meeting anyone that compares to him and then regret not having him there with me. And, it's pretty clear that if I move that far away without him that we will break up. Advice please and thank you!!!!!!!

[VincenzoG91]

Since your mind seems made up, I will tell you what you want to hear. Break up with your boyfriend. That might motivate him to do something with his life, and it will give you the freedom to enjoy your youth. Young couples don't tend to last anyway, because both people are still growing and changing. If you two break up nicely, maybe you can start up again years down the road if your paths cross again.

[ShellyZ]

Kinda sounds like he might want to live with you so he doesn't have to get a job and support himself.

[Wakeup]

Don't move in with him. He's got no goals, he's not settled and he needs to be a grown up man with an established career in order to help with the financial end of your relationship. Tell him neither of you are mature enough for such a decision and you need to finsh school and be employed as well so that you can support yourself and learn how live alone and be happy in your own skin.

[ConniptionFit]

Break up with him.

[Red Apollo]

Sounds like you already know what answer to go with, you are just asking to reinforce it in your mind. Don't move in with him.

[IncognitoSir]

Don't move in with him, not because he doesn't have goals or plans etc, because you're not ready. Sounds like he's still trying to figure some things out and you sound like you know what you want. That means you're probably growing apart which happens at this young age. I see you're afraid of exploring what else is out their but that's a risk you must take for the sake of your happiness. He's made you happy, but you wanna see if you can do better. Only one way to see, break it off and go on about your life. Like Vince said, if it's a "good" split maybe you two will meet later in life, but I wouldn't hold my breathe on it.