Complicated situation .. What do I do ... ????

[ahmadsn]

Hi guys n gals ... Well this is my first post here so please be gentle

I have this female friend whom I've been friends with since about 2 years .. About a year ago from now I started to move to the next level .. I started liking her, and for the past six months she's been in my mind like all the time .. when I'm working, studying, sleeping, in the bathroom, in the classroom, roaming around somewhere, etc .. Well you get the point .. At this point in my life, I would really like to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her ..

Here's the problem .. I almost certainly know she doesn't share the same feelings as me ... After much thought and deliberation, I've come to the logical conclusion that to her, I'm just any other friend .. I mean we talk and everything, share our daily life discussions and for example when either one of us gets sicks, the other one helps out in some ways, etc ...

Here's the second twist ... We are both exchange students here in the US and we'll go back to our original places in our country in this coming summer .. So basically I have a deadline to somehow 'induce' a liking feeling into her for me, and for the past 5-6 months this is what I've been trying to do ... But somehow I can't reach down and make her like me .. I know this probably comes naturally and everything, but I thought its at least worth a try ..

Sometimes I say something to her, or text her in some romantic way without explicitly saying anything, to see what her response is like .. and its always neutral in this sense .. Sometimes she even hurts my feelings a lot without even knowing what she's done ...

So now that you know my history, here's the question I face right now .. Uptill now, I was hopeful that I would be able to somehow make her like me by this coming summer .. But now I'm thinking I'm just fighting a loosing battle, and that I should try to avoid all contact with her and just try to forget her .. The problem is that I dont think she knows that I like her, and so its hard for me to avoid all contact from her because she'll wonder why I'm ignoring her ... I don't want to seem rude .. I just want to break all communication with her ASAP so that I can move on .. Because I know now that despite all my efforts, I haven't even seen the slightest change in her mood towards me over the past 5-6 months, and I know I'll just feel really really bad this summer and onwards if I all of a sudden don't see her around anymore .. I would like to get used to living without here ASAP so that come summer, I'm prepared ..

So here's my question to you folks ...

1) Am I doing the right thing here in ignoring her ? I know it might seem cowardly, but this is no a happy romantic movie and in life there are not many happy endings .. At this point I think the most logical thing for me to do is to just move on ... What do you guys think ?

2) If you agree with my train of thought, how do you suggest I break contact with her without seeming rude ?? I mean sometimes she asks me to come over to have dinner with her or something .. What do I say to this ?? What if she texts me or something ? I don't want to seem rude by not replying back, and yet I also want to give some kind of a signal to her that I want to move on ...

Desperately need some guidance here people ...

[biancanics]

I think the first thing to do is to be honest to her, tell her the whole truth about how you feel... maybe she doesn't really know... she can tell you her reasons but better prepare for the outcome... accept what's gonna happen later on and move on....

[ahmadsn]

Well you're right ... If one has strong feelings for someone else, they should tell no matter what the situation is, and I completely agree ...

I plan to tell her, but maybe not right now ... The thing is like I said, to her, I'm just any other friend, which she has many of ... I mean I don't know if she values me enough to NOT be hurt if I tell her this right now .. I mean from what I understand, girls are pretty sensitive to this stuff, and I won't want to tell her if I know there's a large chance she'll get angry or something ..

I do plan to tell her, but at the start of summer when we go our separate ways .. Even though my brain knows there's no chance, my heart still wants to believe that there is ... And if I tell her right now I know its going to emotionally hurt me a lot ... I'm also living alone right now, and my close ones, so if I emotionally go down, there's won't be anyone here to support me .. When I go back to my country, I'll have people there who I know will help me out ... But right now telling her all of this just doesn't seem helping ..

I want to tell her and I will tell her .. I just dont see any positive thing of telling her right now ... For now I just want a way to close my communication with her somehow ... But then again, I dont think this would be possible without telling her ......

I hate this .. This is the second time my heart has been broken in the past 10 years ... I hate love .. To me it just seems what it seems in the movies: fiction !