need answers

[someguy83]

( my native language isnt english (northern europe ) so i might have a few grammar errors and the sentences might be a bit messy )


first off this is gonna be fairly long, i dont want to leave anything out so that you dont have all the info to give me some good advise/answers. also i have the flu ( not swine ) so i dont have anything better to do.


about 3 years ago i met this girl at a party at my sisters house. We hit it off really well and just clicked. Problem was she had a boyfriend. We kept meeting at more parties and talked on all of them just to eachother.
some time after we hooked up on MSN and we kept talking for months , some normal talk and some flirting.
One day i met her and we took a walk togheter, i then noticed there was something there. She wanted me to ditch work that day so we could hang out more but i had to go. When at work we kept texting and she wanted me to meet her at this club later. When me and a friend came to the club she came over said hi and and aacted real strange and didnt seem very interrested in talking to me. I got fed up and said that it was annoying that she had nagged on me to get me to come only to get shunned when i came. She then started crying !? and i felt it best to leave.
The next day i hadnt more than logged on my pc before she asked if i was angry at her. I said i wasnt but i was a bit annoyed. I asked if she wanted to catch a movie something she really wanted. At the film there was this really weird mood between us and we really didnt say anything. After the film was over she asked if i wanted to join her and some friends for a bite to eat and maybe some beers later. I declined and said that if i got drunk i might try something and she had a boyfriend blablabla. she laughed it off and we kept talking a bit. She then said that if i didnt act so strange shed f*** me ( im not using profanity , thats litterally what she said ). later that day i got tempted and gave her a call saying i wanted to meet her, she said ok but later she rang me and had some bad excuse and couldnt meet me. Some weeks went by but she had got alot colder when we talked. We met once more but she was as cold as ice. The same day i texd her a flirting message and i got back the " like you as a friend " message and totally ignored what had actually happened. This annoyed me and things got sour between us. Some days later i felt bad for being angry at her ( altho i had no reason to ) and i apologiced, she did too and we met for a aquard meal that lasted about 30 mins. oh and i forgot to mention that we had exchanged "i like you's " before we fell out.

that was the first "episode " i had with her.

some months went by and we talked on and off sometimes , mostly platonic stuff. But every now and again she could say something like " what are you doing tonight ? " and when i said " nothing, why" there was a long pause and she replied something like " nothing, i have to go ".

After a year with stuff like that and me bumping into her sometimes since she was neighbor with my best friend. contact just stopped for half a year or so untill i met her ( coinsidently ) at a club. she came over to where i sat grabbed my arm, looked at me and didnt say anything before some friend of hers took her away. I talked to her later on and met some of her friends. But nothing more than that. When i came home to my place i told my roomate that i had met this person out ( he knew her but not about "it" ), but that reminded him that one of his friends had told him that she had told his friend ( sorry for the teenage sentence but i couldnt get around it ) that i was coming on to her. This in itself isnt such a bad thing but keep in mind that she had a boyfriend and more than that she had on many occations told me that we shouldnt talk about what WE talk about. Needless to say i had to call her the next day and hear what was true as this could turn ugly if her boyfriend found out. She said she hadnt said anything and got really sad, she explained that this guy had noticed us talking togheter and got suspicious. She said " do you want me to tell everybody that i like you " in a angry tone.

more time went by ( months ) with more or less no contact besides the occational accidental bump-ins. Then once at a party she approched me and asked me if i was still mad at her and she got teary-eyed. I felt bad and said i was over it and we hugged, i also gave her a neckless i was wearing.

after that we had some contact but it was still a bit " not optimal ".

some more months went by and it was her birthday, she invited me and after some thought i decided to come. At this party we took a shot togheter and i told her i was sorry ( as previously stated things hadnt been going well even tho we had telked it over ) she said " dont't , im gonna cry ". I dint say more untill we got outside, i told her the reason on my part why i had been not so cool towards her was becouse it was so frustrating with the whole situation ( she having a boyfriend ). She kept looking down and saying " i know iknow i know " and " i have so much i want to tell you too but it would just be wrong ".
some weeks later we met again and i asked her what she had wanted to say the other day. She then barely looked at me and told me she was sorry she had given me the wrong impression.
For me that was it, i acted like i was all cool with it but i was angry as hell inside, since i felt she had lied to me and could haave stopped me the other day and not act as if she ment something else.
I broke all contact with her. I also deleted all her accounts internet talking stuff. Its important to know that i didnt get angry at her at all ( outside that is ) when i met her i was still polite and asked her how she was doing, but nothing more.

Then i got a girlfriend and half a year or so went by. Before she suddenly popped up on my MSN wondering how i was doing. I didnt really know what to say so we just talked about nothing for a while.

Note : at this time i had decided to break up with my girlfriend since i didnt see it going anywhere, but her mother died and she got REALLY depressed from it and still is so i didnt have the heart to break up with her.
i know that might not be the right thing to do but im only human and dont always make the right choices.


anyways, this girl kept contacting me for several months daily. and tho we never said the things we had done before she said stuff like " i wear the neckless you gave me all the time, good night " . And then this last summer her boyfriend broke up with her and she was sad. We talked some and i comforted her but a couple of days later i said that she should be talking to somebody else about this as i didnt feel comfortable doing it after what had happened earlier. A day or so went by and i got a message on MSN simply saying " im very fond of you " ( cant find the word in english but its something between love and like that could apply to family and friends also ). i said that i didnt want to hear more i like you as a friend talk as i hadnt asked for it in any way. She then said that she didnt mean it in a friend way and she kept saying "its all ruined" . Then she went on to say that she wanted me to know it becouse she was planning on taking some pills and alcohol adn if she didnt wake up tomorrow she wanted me to know it if she didnt see me again.

I then had to call her since i got very worried. When i finally got thru she had been crying, i said the usual frases like " your gonna be ok " , " hes an idiot " etc. but she said that wasnt the reason she was sad. She then said that she was sad becouse she didnt grab the chanse with me when she had it and that she eally had liked me, she just had to put those feelings aside as she couldnt have them. She went on about me having a girlfriend and kept saying she regretted what she had said to me in the past and that she wished things had turned out different b/c then she could have been with me now. I explained the situation i was in with my girlfriend but she didnt seem to respond to it as she seemed shut down.

The next days i couldnt get a hold of her and i got worried, i finally got in touch but she was acting cold as hell.
After some time talking this autumn i asked if she wanted to go see a concert something she said yes to. But when the day came she didnt show and gave some really nonchalant excuse after.
Oh and she had moved back with her parents at this point till she could find something and they lived in a town a couple of hours away.
I then saw on her msn that she was going out in my town. i texted her asking her if she wanted to meet up, she didnt answer so i called her ( keep in mind i was still worried about her ie the suicide thing ). she answered and gave me the most apathic cold answer , something to the effect of " whatever, if you want, you dont have to ...whatever ".

to me that was the final straw, i decided to send her a letter telling her that i loved her. for me that was a win win situation. either she said " yes " witch i admittedly knew wanst gonna happen, or she would get freaked out and leave me alone in the future.

when i talked to her again she gave me this very cold speach telling me that she didnt like me, she didnt belive me and why couldnt i just hate her....


needless to say im baffled.

i dont know if im sad, angry or just a bit shocked. most likely a bit of each.

anybody got ANY tippers on what the hell happened here ?



and plz give me the truth.

it would be very helpful for me to get some aswers so i can stop pondering on it.

[xxazurexx]

I had a headache just reading your post. Too much drama ...I couldn't be arsed with someone like her.

In short I reckon:

She blows hot when things aint going so great between her and her bf.
Cold when things are going well between them.

She's blowing cold now and probably because she's back with the ex, or some other guy has entered the picture who is now in your situation, wondering what the f**k is going on with her.

Seems all the guys love a DRAMA QUEEN.....Im thinking of becoming one