Broken hearted ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!

[hope555]

My bf broke up with me 6 months ago. We just didn't work as a couple. He didn't treat me like we were in a proper relationship. I stopped talking to him for the past 4 months, but just started talking to him again a few days ago. We talk like best friends. He always intitates the texts, and is very particular about helping out in any way he can...although I have never accepted his help. Today I go on his facebook, and find that he has a picture of him and his new gf. it was the most heatbreaking thing in the world!!!!!!!! He even texted me this morning just to tell me about this interview he had. I texted back going "i didn't know you were dating someone else. You guys look happy. I'm happy for you. Good luck on your interview." He hasn't texted back since. My heart feels like it has be ripped into two. I know this girl and him went to cottages, met each others families, and he even puts up pics of them together!!! He never did any of that with me!!!!! All this time I was thinking, maybe he'll realized what he has lost. But it turns out, that the universe blesses heartbreakers with even more love from another girl. I've been trying so hard for the past 6 months to find someone to date, and here he is, just walking around, and finds the best gf of his life that he is proud of. I tried my hardest to make our relationship work, but apparently, that isn't enough. I loved him, and I need to let this go. But the pain is still very real. I guess in the next day or two, I will have recovered quite a bit. Here's hoping I can post a similar picture on my profile one day with guy that treats me like a princess.

[ev90]

Hardest thing ever is seeing your ex with another girl. I want to get over my ex so badly and just forget him.. I think i have convinced myself she is just the rebound but Im terrified of seeing that he is actually going to make it offical with her and then i know i will be gutted again..... its the hardest thing ever but I know its just fear and I'm better of without him and so are you. I think you should get rid of him of facebook because your going to keep checking and its not worth it, it just makes it worse every time.. keep yourself busy, focus on yourself and I know after 4 months its hard but right now its the only thing you can do. I think these things just take time and no doubt you will look back and be so much happier but again its just going to take time... it has to get easier doesn't it??

[hope555]

Hi ev90,
Thanks for your reply. I was heartbroken yesterday, but today I'm feeling a lot stronger. The part that hurts is that he put up a picture of them on his facebook and introduced her to his family etc., when he did none of those things with me. It somehow feels like he wasn't as proud to be dating me as he is dating her. She's not a rebound because he doesn't rebound. He starts dating all over again within 6 months of breaking up. That's always been his pattern. I feel stronger because really at the end of the day, and actually happy for him, because I remember what a terrible bf he was to me. He is very into it the first 2 or 3 months, then just stops. This was the bf that on valentine's day texted me and said, "happy valentine's day loser. I hate this day". Not even a sweet text, forget about wanting to do something special for me. It was impossible to talk to him about anything like an adult, because his answer always was "I'm perfect, therefore I'm right". He never liked hugging or kissing. He never took interests in anything I liked. He only complimented me once in a blue moon...more than compliments I heard the words "jerk" or "loser". Its funny to talk that way with friends, but I want my bf who treats me with a bit more respect. His new gf is 6 yrs younger than him, and they just insult each other over facebook, which I think is so dysfunctional. The truth is, if he didn't like me, he shouldn't have dated me for one year. Maybe he is a better fit with her and will treat her well, or maybe he'll end up treating her the same way he treated all his exes after the initial few months. Which one do you think will happen??

[ev90]

He definately sounds like he is immature and not worth it and its funny because everything you said there reminds me of my ex who just could not be bothered to treat me right sometimes and makes me realize that I deserve better and so do you. We were going out since I was 14 and he was 16 and over the last few years Ive done well for myself, done really well in college and been really ambitious with everything i do.. just grown up basically. He is the opposite, still thinks he is 16 and currently in a dead end job just living at home with his parents.. I would like to just see him grow up. Your ex sounds ridiculously immature as well and the fact that he is with someone 6 years younger proves that and the fact that they insult each other on facebook... who does that??? Relationships are always exciting at the start so thats why he puts in effort but it will get old soon enuf and he will end up treating her the same way he usually does. A person does not usually change that drastically.. but then Im sorry to say he might just really like this girl. Its hard to hear but it could be the truth even though we dont like facing it. I think the girl my ex is seeing is the rebound because he told her he doesnt want to get into a relationship or anything but I want to be able to be over him when it all ends with them and be in complete control if he ever comes back. I want to just get over him and not wait around and you need to do the same. There is always if,buts and maybes but you dont know whats going to happen or if that relationship is going to end so think its time for both of us to just face that (even though its crap). If he treats her badly then good for you because your the one that got away and if he treats her well then you still are better of cos thats not the way he looked after you.

There is going to be good days and bad but just try keep doing what your doing and it will get better, your a better person now and have way better judgement because you know you didnt deserve any of this and can see right through him and that will stand to you for sure.

[hope555]

AWw...thanks so much for your reply. You said everything I wanted to hear, and put in some reality check in there too. Thanks!!

I don't think he will change. He likes all of his gfs a LOT at first. He was the same with me. I can't say he likes this girl anymore than he liked me the first few months...its not possible. I think its all cute to be making fun of each other at first, but at the end of the day, I will not be able to be with a long-term partner that didn't start acting maturely. Either he'll get sick of her or she'll get frustrated with him. You can say that there's lots of different types of girls out there, and his new gf may be ok with the way he makes fun of her, and she does it back too. But that can't be fun for the rest of your life!!! For a lifetime relationship, you need a genuinely good person that knows how to be a little unselfish and actually love you. On the one hand thats why I feel like they won't work out. On the other hand I feel like what if they're weird in the exact same ways?? Why couldn't I have those same weirdness so that he could've been my prince charming. On the surface, he was my dream bf. But not on the inside. But maybe he will work out with new gf? I will let it go. I just don't see how my ex, being the weird one in the relationship, may have found "the one" before I found "the one". And he finds all these girls without even looking for them...they just fall into his lap Whereas I have to look long and hard and still find no one. Sucks!

Anyways, thanks for listening. Keep in touch