Caught out on a lie

[Becca-leigh]

Just wanted an outsider's opinion, Iv been with my partner for bout 2yrs now. He is a few years my senior. When we first started going out, we were both heavily into drugs, drinking and gambling. We got to know each other high so there is still alot of things we are finding out about ourselves and each other now that we are straight (10months since we both quit EVERYTHING). Our lives have never been better or healthier and we are expecting our first child at the end of the month and plan on getting married late next year. Iv have always been open about everything from my past to how I'm feeling and it's no secret that I am a little insecure (I have drawn the short straw many many times in relationships in the past) and my partner is aware of this. We had some troubles to begin with but have worked through it. I trusted him and my insecurities where no where to be seen. A couple nights ago he was texting someone at 11pm ish (very unlike him, he doesn't have any friends he keeps in contact with via text). He was acting a little strange, he stoped Texting when I walked in from the kitchen and again when I came back from the loo, acting like he wasn't really texting (very weird) then when I asked if he was texting or was I imagining things he said he was textin his mum, who is normally in bed by 8, so I asked if everything was okay. Everything was fine but he kept receiving texts, I went to bed and when he came in he said he had also been talking to his brother. I didn't think anything of it until the next day when he got a text while he was in the shed. I picked it up and looked at the screen, one of his ex's had text him. I didn't say anything (trying not to be insecure) and took the phone to him. When he came back inside I asked who was texting him (sneaky I know), without hesitation he said his mum. I asked if anyone else had been, nope just his mum and his brother. I don't mind if he was texting his ex but I don't understand why he would lie to me about it, I haven't said anything to him and he has received alot more texts since then (which is not normal) what should I do? If I confront him he will blame my insecurities and hormones from pregnancy and make me feel like a idiot 'cause we are starting a family'. What do you think?

[Spring Haze]

If that is the type of person your boyfriend is (blaming you and making excuses for his own behavior), then there are more problems here than him being dishonest. You need to confront him in spite of his reaction - do not let him get away with making you feel idiotic should that occur. Broach the subject calmly, but do not back down. Tell him you know he's lying, that when he was in the shed, you picked up his phone and saw who sent the text. Don't play the victim, get to the bottom of this.

[Becca-leigh]

Just to vent.....
I confronted him about his lie and he denied it at first, then when I wouldn't 'shut up' he said he lied to save himself the drama of explaining his actions to me (apparently I'm paranoid) and then he tried denying it again. A whole day of stressful sh*t before I told him to leave. He happily left and now he acting like he doesn't care if he is with me or not which really hurts. I'm 37weeks pregnant and he doesn't understand or doesnt want to accept that some emotional support would be nice. He isn't the type of man I want my child looking up too and learning from anyway, better that it happened now and not when little one is here, just wish I could stop crying :,(

[novocane]

I really feel for you, and your situation, but why do women continue to stay involved with -- and have children with -- these lowlife scum liars? I hardly doubt that this occasion was the first time he'd ever been skeevy and lied to you.

Screw your heads back on, ladies!

[novocane]

He isn't the type of man I want my child looking up too and learning from anyway, better that it happened now and not when little one is here, just wish I could stop crying :,(

If you knew this then why the hell did you decide to have a child with him? It's like you're digging yourself in deeper and deeper

[Spring Haze]

If you knew this then why the hell did you decide to have a child with him? It's like you're digging yourself in deeper and deeper

Yeah, you sure sound empathetic.

Read and comprehend:

]We got to know each other high so there is still alot of things we are finding out about ourselves and each other now that we are straight

The child is already conceived, stop pouring salt in her wounds. What's done is done.

[novocane]

Yeah, you sure sound empathetic.

I'm not here to be empathetic, I'm here to express my opinion about the subject matter.

[IndiReloaded]

Deal breaker. Time to cut your losses. Hope won't fix this guy, if you stay a moment longer you'll be wasting your time.

[Spring Haze]

I'm not here to be empathetic,

Then don't say "I really feel for you."

I'm here to express my opinion about the subject matter.

Your opinion is irrelevant because it doesn't pertain to the subject at all. She did leave the guy. Here's a tip: use some restraint by reading entire threads before feverishly typing out shrewd opinions.

[Mathias]

Your opinion is irrelevant because it doesn't pertain to the subject at all. She did leave the guy. Here's a tip: use some restraint by reading entire threads before feverishly typing out shrewd opinions.

I don't disagree with you, but why are you getting in the middle of this? We don't need board cops. We do OK on our own.

[Spring Haze]

The middle of what? It's a public forum.

[Mathias]

The middle of what? It's a public forum.

It is. I'm expressing my opinion as well. Board cops make for bad environments.

[IndiReloaded]

Thanks Mathias. We have mods and the comments need to be kept to the OP.

[hello1]

Thanks Mathias. We have mods and the comments need to be kept to the OP.

This place will go downhill fast if mods start deleting lots posts they just don't like or agree with.

Anyway, everyone has their own point of view and it is a very valid point...why have a baby with a man like that? a man who texting another woman when his girlfriend pregnant with his child?

[novocane]

Your opinion is irrelevant because it doesn't pertain to the subject at all. She did leave the guy. Here's a tip: use some restraint by reading entire threads before feverishly typing out shrewd opinions.

This made me chuckle. In what way was my opinion not pertaining to the subject? I commented that it was pretty stupid to decide to have a child with such a scumbag. If you don't like what I have to say, then don't read or remark on my posts.

Kudos on the big words, too. "Feverishly typing out shrewd opinions." You sound smawt!