Advice Needed (be kind VERY LONG)

[LoVeSyCk]

Okay, so I went on this 3 day trip with 40 people from my school. It was fun But...

The first day was definitely the best. This is because there's this guy in my class and we're really close. Like really really close. I think lol. Some people say he likes me and some say that I like him. To tell you the truth... I don't know what to say

Let me just give you some background information on us before I move on... I met him when we were 11 (grade 6). We didn't really start being friends until the end of grade 8. But from that point on, we were always close. Not really tight, but we were always nice to each other and so on. Then for the formal of our grade 9 year, he asked me out as a joke in front of his friends. Even though we weren't going to formal together we did slow dance for one song. Then he left for grade 10 and we sort of grew apart and stopped talking. Then he came back for grade 11 and that's when we started to become really close. We'd always talk in the halls, hang out, he'd mess up my hair, and I'd take some of his possessions (jewelry). This is when I my friends started saying he likes me. I was just like... NAH we're just like brothers and sisters. Then a month later his friend said to me, "You like *********" right in front of him! It was a whisper so he might not have heard it but still. After that day, his friend keeps mentioning it like avery 2 days. Also I should mention that we don't talk on the phone, MSN, or hang out outside of school. We basically only hang out at school so that's why I'm not sure about his feelings or mine. He still misses his old school and he hangs out with them. PLUS, we're different nationalities too. Our skin colors are totally different. I'm also very shy whereas he isnt. He's friends with a lot of the people that came to this trip. I have no idea of his life outside of our school. For all I know, he could have a girlfriend but I doubt that. Well yeah, that's basically all I can think of.

Day 1!

Anyways 7 of us went to dinner and of course he was there. He was really nice and sweet. He said he'd pay for me because I thought I didn't have any money but I did and I thought that was so kind! He also wanted to see a movie that I wanted to see and I said that we should go after we get back from the trip. Then after dinner we were walking back to our hotel and I kind of fell in the snow and he's the only one that waited up for me. Again, very kind.

Then after some fun events all of us were relaxing and getting ready for bed. Obviously we weren't going to sleep but yeah just preparing to make our chaperones happy Okay so then him and his friends came to my room where my friends and I would be sleeping just to chill and stuff. He was hanging out and so on and 'leaning' on me while all of us watched TV. And I must say, it felt pretty good.

So yep, that's my first day in DETAIL my god. Before I move on, I just want to mention that one of the girls sleeping in my room (I'm going to call her Alice) who has barely talked to him before started becoming friends with him a few weeks ago. Then after he leaves she's like, "I think he's really cute and so so so nice." Like I don't care if you say that but if you only become friends with him just because I'm friends with him and other people are too, that's kind of aggravating. hehe.

Anyways Day 2

Normal stuff same old. Only... it seemed to me that my guy friend was more interested in hanging out with Alice today. He knows she has a boyfriend too so I thought it's nothing. The whole day I barely talked to him. Like I mean I don't have to be around him 24/7 but it'd be nice to know that you still know I exist.

Then around nightime, he was still kind of ignoring me but it didn't really bother me. I went to chill with one of his friends that was staying in his room and I was fine. Then he came in and hung out but I was sort of giving attitude Just for fun it wasn't mean or anything. Later on after we all watched some TV, we (meaning me, him, and another friend) went downstairs to check out what other people were doing. Me and my other friend were playing pool and he just decided to walk around and stuff.

Then after my friend smoked me in pool, I still had a few balls left to hit. So I was practicing and trying (desperately) to get the balls in. Then he comes and teaches me and I told him that I had a pool table at home but I never play and he said that I should invite him over to play and stuff. He's never been over to my house (Yeah weird eh?). That was fun and after that we all went to our own rooms and hung out for the rest of the night.

What bugged me on this day was that while we were doing an activity, we went into seperate groups and he went with other people and I went Alice and another friend. So when our group met up with his group, he was hanging out with Alice more than me. I know you must be thinking, jealous *****, but it's just their friendship isn't as deep ours is yet he chooses to be with her instead. Okay whatever I'll get over it. That's what I told myself...

Okay Day 3!

He TOTALLY ignored me today. He didn't talk much with Alice either but he did and that's the point. I don't think he said one word to me today. It's kind of disappointing because I don't like it when people 'steal' friends away from me. It's happened before and now I no longer talk to her because other people 'stole' her.

Anyways... Thanks SO much for reading this boring ass story. What should I do? Am I overreacting? I think I am, but still... I guess this would mean that I have feelings for him but I'm not quite sure if I do. As I mentioned before, he said that we would go out to see that movie after the trip. I HIGHLY doubt that's happening because:

1) He never calls me. It's just a friendship we have at school which is why I'm not sure about my feelings towards him

2) I think he might like Alice even though she has a boyfriend

3) I think his friend told him I like him so... (which I'm still not sure yet you decide)

4) He's kind of irresponsible anyways and we never hang out outside of school. It's just a school-based friendship.

Anyways I think I'm just all 'emo' right now because I had 2 nights of shitty sleep. It might be that or it might be something else. Please comment I want anyone's opinion. Thank you

[LoVeSyCk]

I've never been in a relationship before either. And I'm freaking 16! Maybe that's why I'm so lost

[Rosebud]

Honey in all honest after reading all that I think your just enjoying the attention. You don't really want to date him but you want to be his friend, yet when he hangs out with other people you get a little jealous. I don't think anyone is trying to "steal" anyone away. So don't start drama there that isn't needed. I do think if you like him you should start flirting back with him more and maybe taking a little more initiative in that department to get his attention, like calling him and having him come over and play pool or whatever.

But if you dont' like him more than a friend then I suggest you just go with the flow and not worry so much about him hanging out with other girls or guys! Just be his friend and have fun!

[vashti]

It doesn't sound like he is interested in having a girlfriend, which is perfectly normal at his age, and in fact, is healthy. If his friend told him that you liked him, he is probably trying to give you a subtle hint that he doesn't reciprocate the feeling by avoiding you.

I say forget about him and move on, sweety. I'm sure you are a nice girl, and he is a nice guy, but that doesn't make you two a good match.

[LoVeSyCk]

He doesn't avoid me at school though. I duno maybe I'm just over reacting but I see your point as well

[clynn]

Well, I guess I would just try to confirm the movie date now that you're back in town again. If he avoids committing to it or you aren't able to make it happen, then he probably just wants to be friends (which is also a good thing!)

[LoVeSyCk]

Good idea, but what if he was just busy? Then I'd have to ask again sounding VERY desperate lol

[clynn]

I don't quite understand your question.

Do you mean, what if you asked him to go to the movie and he said "I'm busy". Well, if he is just plain old too busy to make a date than he may be too busy to go out with you and that may be your answer and I wouldn't ask him again.

IF...you are concerned that he will say that he is busy on Tuesday, for instance, you could instead ask him "Are you still up for that movie sometime?" If he says yes, Then ask him "When is a good time for you?".

If you're unable to pin him down to a day, regardless of whether he said yes or no.....then I would just let it go. You'll have indicated you're interested, and if he doesn't want to bite than it probably won't develop into more.

At the end of the day, it is more important that you feel you've given it an honest shot than what he thinks....! You won't seem desperate just by trying to confirm up a date you've already talked about.