Fate

[Zero Interrupt]

I suppose it's time for my question.

Ok, in the other thread, (Grah, it won't let me link it, the "Please help me clean up the mess I've made!" thread in the Ask a Male forum.) I told the long, boring story of who, at the time, I thought was my one true love.

So a couple years ago I met this woman, out of the blue, that given the circumstances, I thought Fate had brought her to me. Yes, I believe in Fate to a degree, though it's dodgy and complicated, and too long for a discussion here.

But I went out on one date with her, which was complicated and strange, and due to difficulties in both our lives, we never got to go out again.

So here, two years later, Fate seems to have brought her back to me again.

We went on a date two weeks ago, and it was one of the best dates I've ever had. We had dinner, sawa movie, then sat in my truck outside her workplace and talked until 4 AM.

I really like her, and like talking to her, but:

A.) My usual paranoia is coming to the forefront. I really try to fight it, and become a better person, but since I was a kid, due to my mother and sister mostly, I've had severe trust issues with women, and sometimes your subconscious just defaults to those same old fears.

B.) I'm not "feeling it", is the only way to put it. I like this woman, I like hanging out with her, and we share a lot of interests, but "it" just isn't there, if that makes any sense. I keep wondering if Jennifer, from the linked story, maybe damaged me too much. Or maybe in my subconscious, I'm still holding to some insane hope that one day she'll come back. I don't know.

Any advice?

[nendo]

well for me u can't trust someone straight away if u not known them for long. trust takes a long time to build up. i know mines been busted down in my relationship a shitload.

[vashti]

"It" is elusive and even when you have it, you will find it is transitory. I think you are placing too high a value on it. Anyway, it sounds like you are allowing yourself to be a bit too invested in your emotions after only two dates in two years. Don't you agree?

[Zero Interrupt]

Yeah, I fully realize that. Dates are rare for me, and I put too much importance on them, and I'm melodramatic by nature, to begin with.

But usually, "it" comes pretty quickly for me, whether or not "it" is reciprocated, and it's got me spooked.

Maybe I just think too damn much.

[vashti]

Yup. You must force yourself to calm down. It might help if you were to date more regularly. All this intensity is bound to scare off some girls.