10 years down the drain/okcupid

[KittyKat1989]

So I was deeply in love with my ex, we never fought, had the same kind of humor, and both just seemed perfect. We had been going out since I was 15, I am 25(birthday a few weeks ago), and other then some petty break ups while we were young all has been perfect. The day after my birthday on the ride back to our apartment, he dropped the bombshell on me that he wanted us to separate. It was a hard night, I cried on and off many times and through the whole thing he acted as if my puppy died and was comforting me. He held my hand, hugged me, apologized, even went out the next morning and bought me about $150 worth of stuff. He said he wasn't attracted to me anymore because of my weight(which I dont understand because he has a fat fetish) and that my parents weren't middle class.

I packed up that same night with my pets and some essentials and drove 4 hours back to my parents house where they had an extra room for me. We chatting on and off that whole day, and I realized that I was so paranoid about him leaving me that I was worshiping him and losing myself in the process. After we broke up I felt much free'er to just talk with him and we agreed that we are actually getting along better now. He is absolutely my best friend, and I just do not want to lose that along with my partner.

This is where I am having a hard time, I still deeply love him and I see hints from him that he loves me. I have really no other friends other then him, and I dont even know how to drive so I am pretty much confined to my parents house doing online school. I have this nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach that pretty much wont leave, its been a few weeks(broke up on the 17th) and the only progress I have made is I dont cry anymore, but I certainly cant take feeling like this much longer. What can I do to put my self on the right track to healing, and is there anything I can do to heal faster.

I felt horrible, and thought maybe a rebound date or even meeting someone new would help me. After chatting with some online friends, I realized that I am ready to settle down and I do not want to wait to
'get over him'. I joined Okcupid, and figured since I am a girl who is pretty laid back and likes video games I would meet someone relatively fast, even if its just to chat with. I signed up on the 20th and so far have only gotten 1 message back, and he will not reply to the reply I sent to him. I hear of girls who are MUCH pickier then me who get 2-3 messages a day, and I send out at least 1-2 messages a night and I never get any replies. This is only furthering my depression at this point, and its bringing up a very said point;

Whats wrong with me?

[basilandthyme]

Yep, well they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else (covering head)

If you're not getting responses from OKcupid, chances are that your profile needs some work. We've helped others with this task and can help you too. Tell us about your profile....

[KittyKat1989]

[wwwdot]okcupid[dotcom]/profile/Dispiacere?cf=regular (cant post links til I have posted 15 or more posts, user name is Dispiacere though)

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps most OK Cupid users don't find fat women attractive?

[KittyKat1989]

Perhaps most OK Cupid users don't find fat women attractive?

I didn't think I was that fat
Should I hold off until I lose weight? I feel like waiting is just gonna prolong my mental healing

[AnErin]

KittyKat - this Boisdevie is a complete prick. He could not carry most men's jockstraps.
Don't let some needle-d*ck virgin of a man get you down especially on a forum.

And for dating -
today is the first day of the rest of your life. why should you postpone dating or living? Get out there and enjoy life TODAY.
Girl I promise you are better looking and probably thinner than I am and yet I get dates with men AND women. If my 40 year old butt can do it, I know you can. You could probably come back and give ME advice.

[KittyKat1989]

KittyKat - this Boisdevie is a complete prick. He could not carry most men's jockstraps.
Don't let some needle-d*ck virgin of a man get you down especially on a forum.

And for dating -
today is the first day of the rest of your life. why should you postpone dating or living? Get out there and enjoy life TODAY.
Girl I promise you are better looking and probably thinner than I am and yet I get dates with men AND women. If my 40 year old butt can do it, I know you can. You could probably come back and give ME advice.

I really appreciate that, any critique for my profile?

[vashti]

I looked at your profile, and don't see much wrong with it, except your photos, which are not flattering (I'm not trying to be unkind, just honest). You should take some photos of you looking more feminine, and like you care a little about your appearance. There is nothing really wrong with your looks, other than it looks like you just don't care.

I also noticed you are looking for boys mostly younger than yourself, which I find to be unusual.

[KittyKat1989]

How did it say that I was looking for younger men? I didn't mean to put it that way, I changed my age range.

I have grown up a tomboy, so dressing up and such is foreign to me. Any poses or makeup advice you can give?

[AnErin]

Well first I sent you a message on there.

One thing about OKC - it is sometimes hard to find anyone decent on there.
Also, what you want is what you want. It is not up to anyone else to decide who YOU like to date.

Also I think I am best qualified to make this statement - if someone does not like you for you, hell with them. Some people will not date ME for who I am but I certainly have no problems finding dates and lovers. I know you can do even better

[KittyKat1989]

Well first I sent you a message on there.

One thing about OKC - it is sometimes hard to find anyone decent on there.
Also, what you want is what you want. It is not up to anyone else to decide who YOU like to date.

Also I think I am best qualified to make this statement - if someone does not like you for you, hell with them. Some people will not date ME for who I am but I certainly have no problems finding dates and lovers. I know you can do even better

Thank you, and I sent back a reply on there. If not OkC then where? I do not have a drivers license and no money(poor college student) so internet dating is my only real option that I know of. I haven't actually gone out on any adult dates, so I dont know where people even meet people nowadays

[AnErin]

Kitty, you are in college? GIRL, you have a GOLD MINE of dating options.
Let me tell you how to do it alright? You see a guy you might like, look him in the eye, smile, and maybe say "Hi". If he does not nervously intro himself the first time, do it again when you see him again. Men eat that shit UP!
He will be thinking, "There is this girl who smiled at me, does she like me?"
Then you sit back and let HIM make the moves, invite you out, pick you up, pay for the date... All you have to do is be friendly and even a tiny bit of flirting.

You have no clue how easy you will have it

BTW the OKC message didn't seem to come through.

[KittyKat1989]

Kitty, you are in college? GIRL, you have a GOLD MINE of dating options.
Let me tell you how to do it alright? You see a guy you might like, look him in the eye, smile, and maybe say "Hi". If he does not nervously intro himself the first time, do it again when you see him again. Men eat that shit UP!
He will be thinking, "There is this girl who smiled at me, does she like me?"
Then you sit back and let HIM make the moves, invite you out, pick you up, pay for the date... All you have to do is be friendly and even a tiny bit of flirting.

You have no clue how easy you will have it

BTW the OKC message didn't seem to come through.

I will try that, I do mostly online school but I guess I can go to the campus for homework and just hang around some days. It says it sent, maybe that's why I am not getting any replies

[AnErin]

At the moment, OKC is effing up. I was editing profile and changing photos and had a hell of a time.

All I am saying is this -
Woman looks a man in the eye and smiles. Maybe she says "hello" with a smile. This is the signal women use to say "come talk to me". if a man is on top of his game he will realize this. If he is a goof ball he will not pick up on it. Some men completely lack confidence and won't respond. Men are not as picky as women are. Ultimately, the fate of a date or relationship is up to the woman.

[Boisdevie]

I looked at the profile and it doesn't do a thing for me at all. Your photos are not feminine and the clothes you're wearing are hiding you. You tell us your body type is curvy - well from my experience of online dating that can mean an awful lot of things. People lie on onine profiles and one mans curvy is another mans fat.
And a message for AnErin - If I'm a prick then am I allowed to call you a cunt? You can disagree with me by all means but stop throwing around the insults - it makes you seem a little mentally challenged.