Big Problem

[atl]

I'm currently in college. In the past I had hooked up with this girl as a sorta summer fling..year goes by and turns out shes going to the same school as me. I started talking to her more and really started to like her, but she didn't want to hookup anymore because she didn't feel the same way after a few comments I made over the year that she took the wrong way. So I tried my best and acted really nice and eventually this year we hu did everything up to sex. However, she desides she wants to be just friends. I have been really overpretective of her and a bit too controlling in hindsite and thats why she is turned off and doens't want. I have tried to stop but I am like obsessed with her. I'm not one to feel that way, and I really feel something towards her that I haven't felt. We have everything in common and I've been ridiculously nice to her, however we argue a decent amount and get in some fights, but she is the girl I want in the worst way possible. What should I do? I like her to boarderline love her and I realize I have to stop being so controlling and nosey but when I don't talk to her I feel weird and strange and I feel so comfortable with her. She has hooked up with quite of few guys here a long with me and is in sort of an open relationship with a kid back home. I don't know what to do though because I will do anything in the world just to be with her and I really screwed up.

[UnstableTimes]

Hey dude, to start, I don't think you really screwed up. Secondly, it seems like she is turned off by an aspect of you that you can consiouslly change. There is no real answer anyone could give you that will change her opinion over night, but maybe if you just be more open minded and less controlling with her, over time things can/will change. No1 is to say how much time is needed, but time is key. It is human nature to have what we can't have, and you need to maybe limit your time with her so that she can miss you more. I know it may make you feel awful to see her with other guys, but you have to try your best to not let that emotion get the best of you, because it's really hard to play it cool with her, if you have a difficult time playing cool with urself. It's a good thing that you know what the problem is, and now that you know that ,it is something that could be fixed, but with most things. consistency is key. You already have a history with her, and that means that somewhere inside herself, she has a special spot just for you. You will be fine, just stay strong, and you could make it to where you want to be..

[Mish]

I think the best thing to do here is to move on, she made her intentions clear. If you persist things will only get worse between you.

[atl]

Thanks for the advice, the more the better. It's just been killing me. I've been acting differently and not myself. Literally all I think about is her any free time I have. Do you think the best thing is just to go a week without talking to her, as tough as that may be and hope that she'll realize what she's missing and would rather be with me then not have me in her life at all? Or should I just continue to be nice, not be overbearing, not be controlling, not be obsessive and hope I'll win her back? I really need this to work, I've never felt so strongly about something in my life before, its even pathetic at times.

[UnstableTimes]

I don't know how long you guys actually talk on a regular basis, but yeah, that could be a start..trying going a few days without contacting her at all, to see if she contacts you at all..if she doesn't, then just contact her after however much time you would like to wait, whether it be a week so.. when you contact her, make sure that you don't give her any signs of ur obsessive/controlling side because that may turn her off even more..just play it as safe as you can until you have a clearer picture of what she is thinking towards you...