Break up doubts

[11rowling]

Earlier this year I broke up with my first serious girlfriend, we'd been together nearly 3 years and it had always been long distance. We were arguing a lot more frequently and just felt like we were growing apart, so we split amicably and said we'd remain friends, but it's been tough and I've been very down since the break up.

This Sunday I saw my ex for the first time in a few months, we ended up alone. She was really drunk but I wasn't drinking, she kissed me on the cheek, started to freak out, then cry. I said we should go and talk, so we walked home holding hands, then sat on a bench for over an hour cuddling. She cried a lot and we talked, in a way it was nice because we didn't argue or anything and cleared some stuff up. But she told me she loved me, I told her I loved her and she said that we weren't in love any more and weren't meant to be and just talked about me getting a new girlfriend a lot. We stood outside her house for ages and neither of us wanted to go, we came close to kissing a few times but didn't until I actually left and she gave me a little kiss.

Now I am so confused, I haven't been thinking about her much since we split upnbut although it's only been a few days I can't stop thinking about her now and don't know what to do. There was obviously bad times and the distance didn't help things but I can't think about them at the moment just keep remembering the good stuff. I've been really depressed since we broke up and I'm still not sure if I want her back, and if I do is it for the right reasons. I've got problems in other areas of my life at the moment as well, so I am handing in my notice at work, my original plan was to move to Bristol where I have friends living and have a fresh start, but I don't know if I should see if my ex wants to try getting back together and moving down to London.

I'm so confused and down at the moment that any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Cerby]

No confusion, even drunk she told you "...she said that we weren't in love any more and weren't meant to be". This means that she may doubt the breakup, but knows the reality of it. I wouldn't bet on her coming back right now, maybe down the road, but putting hope into it might be wasted emotion.

You could call her while sober and ask her straight out if she meant what she said. If yes, game over.

[Ely North]

I would try to forget about her and move on with your life. After you don't see her for a while, the feelings will go away.