Already feeling burned out

[Charlie Boy II]

I've just had the craziest weekend, almost entirely devoted to the pursuit of women. Friday night in the city, Saturday night in the bars near my favourite beach.

Saturday night Henry and I were walking along the street at about 1am thinking about getting a cab home, when I felt somebody run up and shove me right in the small of my back. For a second I thought it was somebody looking for a fight, but when I turned around there was this small, beautiful brunette with chestnut brown skin. I had no idea who she was. "Hello!" She cried.

She was swedish, and we stood there chatting for a while. And we asked her if she wanted to go for a drink, but she said "no, we're going home now, but you should come with us to our house for a drink."

We walked back with her to her friends: seven swedish girls! All gorgeous! Not one of them was unattractive. I coupled up with the one that had shoved me in the back straight away, she was a real character. Henry soon found himself a sophisticated looking swede who talked with the poshest english accent. A real cutie.

Their apartment was right on the water, so the first thing we did was all went swimming. All this time Henry and I are looking at each other like we've just received a gift from heaven. Most of them went to bed after that, leaving just the four of us: me and my swede, Henry and his. We stayed up chatting and drinking till around 5am and then slept on the couches (the beds were all taken). The next day we went to the beach and taught them how to surf.

But now, I'm just feeling really burned out. Already bored with the game: the constant projection, and the effort of carrying out conversation with people you've never spoken to and rarely have much in common with. I must have talked with around fifty girls this weekend. Most of them I was only marginally attracted to. None of them really got my heart thumping. I realised I was just doing it as an ego flexing exercise. And so is everyone else. It all just seems ugly and pointless.

[Mish]

I know what you mean CB. I went through something similar last year after my ex. At first all the attention and opportunities seemed exciting, then it kinda got dull, repetative and boring.

But I believe in probabilities, the more you put yourself out there the greater the chance of finding someone special. Keep at it, it's only a matter of time.

[ecojeanne]

hang on.....u got to chat to loads of women and didn't like any enough to have sex...of course you're burnt out...what's the point? your body wants sex...your mind obviously doesn't. it's a push and pull situation. you need more time.

[GrkScorp]

It is ugly and pointless..

But eventually.., in those 50.., you meet the one that makes it all worth while..

For as long as you play by some rules and set up some code of conduct and ethics you abide to and never violate.., it doesn't ever have to get ugly.., at least not on your part..

Mmm.. Swedish brunettes.. ugh..., I'm so fcukn' jealous.. I love tan women with long strait silky dark hair.. I don't know why.., but they fcukn' drive me nuts..

And Swedish girls are so upbeat and happy-go-lucky.., just positive.., happy.., and full of good energy..

If only all of them spoke English or Swedish wasn't that hard to learn..

Oh well.., at least there's Australia..

[1averagejoe]

Were they Swedish porn stars?

Swedish hotties, living right on the water, all willing to have you two come over to their place to have drinks?

Sounds too good to be true.

[Charlie Boy II]

no they weren't porn stars, they were all doing a round the world trip together. 5 of them live in that place and two live in the city. They're here for the summer working bar jobs and such before moving on to the next place.

They'd been here for 5 days and hadn't met any nice guys. Matilda (my one) said she ran up me and Henry because we were "handsome and smiling." And don't get me wrong that was a really incredible experience. Henry and I were both gobsmacked by the sitation. It felt like we were in a dream. Swedes are like that too. Very liberal and happy-go-lucky.

I think partly its because I drank so much alcohol and had so little sleep. I'm definitely noticing alcohol's depressive qualities as I get older. Also, the next day Matilda and I really didn't hit it off. We had a fun day, but...

[starbuck]

Maybe it's because you're missing the girl with whom you had a more meaningful relationship? You did just come out of a break up. I think I'd feel this way too if I put myself back out there on "the scene".

[shh!]

Charlieboy, I love reading your posts. You aren't trying to make women the enemy, and even when you are feeling low, you manage to make intelligent observations without sounding like a bitter, ugly man. Also, you write well.

Anyway, if you are like most people, you will probably love being single some days and hate it on others.

[ecojeanne]

where is the depth people? starbuck is right, he is subconsciously preoccupied. he needs more time.

[Charlie Boy II]

No I don't think it's that I'm not ready to "put myself out there," I don't really think like that. I wasn't looking to fall in love with any of these girls, and vice-versa I'm sure.

Anyway I was actually having a blast at the time. Pretty much all of it was a lot fun. I just seem to have a kind of mood hang over.

And for the record I did want to f-ck the swede. Very much so. But that was an impossibility, because there was four of us sharing the one couch.

[DoesntMatter]

Australia sounds awesome

[DoesntMatter]

This pretty much decides what I'm going to masturbate to tonight

Thanks Grk!

[Charlie Boy II]

Australia sounds awesome

haha, you know, it is pretty good to be home.

[DoesntMatter]

I realised I was just doing it as an ego flexing exercise. And so is everyone else. It all just seems ugly and pointless.

You sound kinda burned out. That's kinda deep and sadlike

[Charlie Boy II]

Anyway, if you are like most people, you will probably love being single some days and hate it on others.

yeah that's what Henry and I were laughing about yesterday, singledoms "soaring highs and crushing lows." I think its a less healthy state of existence, both mentally and physicall: my body has taken some battering over the last three days. When I'm in a relationship I usually experience a more or less constant state of contentment, with the odd pang of boredom or restlessness.

Singledom is also like a regression to a more boyish state. Young women become less like people and more like walking game. And your self-esteem becomes heavily dependent on your ability to attract favourable response from the opposite sex.