is their still something their

[whatofit]

Hay guys straight to it!

Recently split with my GF of 6 years. We met when we were both very young( 15) she was my first serious relationship and the only person i have slept with.

Over the few years we were together we split up around 2-3 times for various different reasons but mainly keep coming back to the point of Boredom in the relationship and one of us not putting in the effort anymore. She has always had her life on track and always had things go right for her. Me on the other hand have always been in struggletown and dealing with alot of life issues. She was their for me for every single hardship i had to encounter and always backed me and stood by me. Best of all she believed in me when no one else did. We had very much talked about having kids and getting married someday and buying a house together.

At the beggining of this year she moved away for work. I knew this was going to be a struggle for me before it happened because i have always been so dependent on having her their. But due to my life circumstances at the time ( things were finally going in a good direction) i let her go without much fuss. I saw her around every second weekend spending 2-3 days with her or she would come down and spend it with me. I was actively looking for employment in her town so i could move in with her

Over the past few months things really got boring, lacked all interest and we just started to plod along. It really all seemed to align with once again bad circumstances occuring in my life.

I dont know how long its been now..maybe 1.5 months? but my GF came down here for a holiday and on the last day on her way home sent me a txt telling me it was over. Honestly i didnt see it coming. I was always believed that i was the stronger one and that she loved me so much more than i loved her, i believed that she could never break up with me. When it happened i was more shocked than anything else but i accepted it and just proceeded to cut all contact with her.

Now in between then and now ive had alot of up and down moments were at times ive been optimistic about the breakup and more recently absolutely shattered. Simply said if someone asked me to fault this girl i couldnt. SHe is everything i would hope for in a life partner. The only thing that stopped me from chasing her back was the simply fact that i felt their was no spark in the relationship. I am very much sexually attracted to her but when i see her i dont think **** shes beautiful. i just think yeh shes ok. I feel so shallow for saying that.

Now here i am thinking should i talk to her again. The thought of her being with anyone else makes me so upset. But the last thing i want to do is to contact her and go into the same destructive spiral again. ( i guess u can never really know).

I guess im looking for some guidance. I would do anything in the world to work this out between us but i do not want to hurt her. What have other people done in these situations. Is what im feeling just a result as of my need for having someone their or a reflection of how my current life situation is sitting ( shit!)?

[HeartIsAching]

I was always believed that i was the stronger one and that she loved me so much more than i loved her, i believed that she could never break up with me.

This makes you the stronger one? Interesting.

[whatofit]

i thought i was the stronger one and that she needed me more than me her. But now it is very clear to me that i most needed her

[James87]

Thanks for your post.

[zaccarus]

Sorry to say this but she has moved on with her life and you are her past. You need to try and do the same thing, from your post I can tell it's gonna be hard for you but you need to let her go & live again without her.

[whatofit]

yep been confirmed...found out tonight that she has moved on. I feel so sick and angry, hard done by. Rethinking every decision i made in the relationship and what i could of done differently. But despite all this im just going to leave it how it is

[zaccarus]

Don't go over it all as it won't help and will just exasperate your negative feelings, I only say this as this is what I did so speaking from experience. You're a young guy so live life I the max & enjoy yourself. Don't let this experience drag you down.