cant stop my feelings (update on previous post - gone but far from forgotten)

[metal911]

As I said in my last post, I have to see my ex gf almost every weekend as we both are in the same circle of friends. They were my friends to begin with and I introduced her to them and now she is one of us.

Only now that me and my ex have broken up, well she broke up with me, in social settings with all our friends there, I feel so isolated from her and my friends.

The other day we were having an Australia Day bbq and drinks and my ex turned up, didn't say one word to me. I caught her looking at me a few times but I just tried to stay away and try to keep composed. But she looked so beautiful and now I've realised that I can't stop being in love with her, even after a year broken up I am still madly in love with her but she wont even talk to me. It makes it so much more heartbreaking, like i go through that heartbreak every time i see her again, over and over again.

I don't know what to do, I have started spending less time with my friends because of it but that has its own problems, less time with them means more time alone with just my thoughts and they are always about her.

I wish there was some way to know what she is thinking, why she does the things she does to me and what is going to happen. I dont think i can face this uncertainty

[JestersJinx]

Mine's pretty much the same situation, cept he likes to talk to me. He still pulls the whole we'll be great friends thing on me.
Mmm, still feels heartbreaking, its kinda a thing where you respect their wishes, hold your breath, and try to move on.
It's hard, but its still do-able. It's been about 6 months since the break up and I still feel like this :/
Try talking to her as a friend? Or being a friend? Maybe she'll react to that.

[Doc Durian]

It's always best to not bring them into your circle of good friends unless everyone is already married.

Then it's a family of sorts.

You're going to have to cop her presence until she moves on, Metal.

Probably not a good thing to bring this up with her. She may hang around extra long if she knows it bothers you.

If you want to know what she is thinking, bring another girl into the fold. It's your right. They're your friends and were so first. Go out, chat up a girl, have a few dates if you like her... and swoosh... bring her along to the next barbecue.

Your ex is likely to either eventually scram or try to hook up with one of your mates.

If she tries to hook up, that's a clear violation of the unspoken bloke code. So, two birds with one stone if you get my drift.

The answer to all of this is another woman. They're plentiful. Go fishing and reel in another.

[cmacattack1]

It's such a pride thing. We have to put up this front and act like everything is okay and act like we are winning this because the other person is upset without me. It's corny, it's stupid, it's a sin for gods sake.

I know you can't help how you feel and seeing her all the time is a constant reminder of it. You feel like being alone makes things worse because all you do is think about her. Are you putting her up on a pedestal and not thinking about things she did wrong? Are you like me and thinking she was your hottest ex and that keeps you in the emotional loop thinking "**** I ****ed up, I will never have a girl as good looking as her again."

This could be an important time to sort things out if you haven't already. Sort out the good and the bad that you did, the good and the bad that she did and seeing it for what it is. You might need help pointing out her flaws, my best friend did that for me when I kept telling him how awesome she was. Logically, based on how you guys were at that time, it wouldn't have worked anyway, no matter how many decisions you could change before your breakup. You wouldn't have really learned anything if you kept seeing each other and this was a good thing in a way: you know now you would never make any mistakes with anybody else that you made with her again. Right?

This is all about you. If you need to be away from this circle of friends to feel better, do so. Do not worry what she thinks or what they think. Do this for you, figure things out, and feel better. It took me 3 months of no contact not seeing my ex to feel better, and I have no idea how I will feel when I actually see her. I've thought so logically about it. My ex was immature and needed to grow up as well, and I don't need her to be happy, even if I want her to be happy. Accepting those two facts have really helped alot with my healing process.

You both needed to be apart to have some serious growth and this was a good thing.

[Blackey]

My advice, from a very similar experience that im going through, simply:
Try to meet new people and also find new friends. Its difficult and somewhat not fair for your circle of friends, but as long as you spend time in this circle of friends, you will not heal as fast as you really want, since these falks would always remind you of her, and the fact that she is always there will disturb your natural healing process and delay it for a long time.
its a fact every time you see her, you just go backwards in your healing process.
Also realize who are your best friends in this circle, people that you feel that you can not compromise their friendship and need to keep them as good/best friends with you.
Im sure that out of the whole circle only a few are your best friends or good friends, other just mor or less good buddies.
try to create a new settings, with some old friends and some new friends, it would create a new setting and a new background, an it actually helps to take your attention away from the past memories.
If you feel that you just can not break this circle by dividing this group (like in my case)
just look for new friends and new settings. Meeting new people helps in itself, especially if they will become your friends and you will create a new circle of friends, it would mark your progress, and thats the thing that you need the most when you have a broken heart, progress, to move on, and you can not really do it while u r stuck in the past.
Also the new circle of friends might actually help to find someone else for you, it is not for nothing they say that a break up is going on much more easily when you have a partner who loves you and support you (i believe that this is why my ex got over the break up in no time, as compared to me).
Trust me, as cruel as it sounds, finding a new circle of friends would help you a lot to move on and overcome the past, i've been there, my ex girlfriend took away most of my friends, and i had to see her for quiet awhile after, up untill i decied to make some extreme changes.
I still see my old friends every once in a while, but without my ex, and my best friend has moved on together with me to the new circle of friends, I made an extreme progress in a relatively short time thank to the fact that i decided to take on some hard decisions and to find a new circle of friends to be around with.
Dont forget that right now the most important person is you, not your ex, not your friends but you, because as long as you are stuck there you are not really yourself, so you have to heal yourself first and only then to be a friend to your friends, im sure that if they are your good friends they will understand, And by the way, after you meet new people you automatically stop thinking about your ex most of the time of the day. It worked for me very well, i say give it a shot if you want to feel better.