For the benefit of those gentlemen looking to get out on the field and start dating, I interviewed a few ladies last night to give you some pieces of information to get you started.
I noted the three vixens at Barnes & Noble discussing their woes with men and approached them using one of my older openings that I invented to help me avoid the anxiety I used to associate with talking to women. I pulled the book “How to Start Conversations and Make Friends” (it can be found in the Self Help section; author: Don Gabor), walked up to their table, opened it so they could clearly see the title and pretended to furiously search for a certain page. “Ah-ha!” I relayed with my facial expression, and looked up and purposefully stammered, “H-hi.”
This is just one way to open up a conversation. But the important thing is that you do it! Don’t pass up a chance to meet a “cool chick” because you’re inhibited by a fear of rejection. The book used to help me, as a security device, making the conversation easier.
Their names were Lisa, Terrine, and Becky. I took advantage of the situation and asked them to explain what happens internally for a woman, and what actually goes on in the initial meeting of man and woman. They brought up several points:
1) If you see a girl you like, approach her right then and there (provided she’s not in the position where you will be interrupting her). If a girl notices you showing interest in her and you sort of hang around deciding what to do, she will detect your insecurity with yourself.
2) There is no set “time period” for first impressions. You have as little, or as long as it takes for a girl to decide whether you are a Man (and for future reference, when I capitalize the ‘m’ in man, I’m indicating the ideal real man), or “just friends” material.
3) Please don’t use pick-up lines! Kudos to Men who are original with their approach. Major kudos to Men who are original and witty.
4) If nothing else, at least say, “Hi.” If you’re going to be unconfident or act like the whole conversation is causing you major anxiety, don’t bother-it’s waste of both your and her time.
Lisa states that too often she sees men who are too worried about what they’re going to say and wind up acting like complete fools.
All three girls send words of encouragement; however-just get out there and start talking to women! It doesn’t matter who or where, just get in the habit of making conversation, and keep doing it until you are even completely comfortable with talking to complete strangers.
Would you practice peeling out, or doing 180 turns in a car if you didn’t know how to turn it on, or even put it in gear? Of course not! Don’t worry about techniques, or your “game,” until you’ve got the basics down! One of these basics is communicating with women! Just get out and DO IT!
~P