Need an opinion - Open relationships

[SJ_Guy2012]

Hi there - first post...thanks for having me.

I've been struggling with a pressing problem since my adolescence that has created a massive social problem for me through my later teen years and all through my 20's. At present I've had sex with only one woman despite my age and as such lack much of the experience a person of my age ought to have in this field. I made up ground quickly when I was seeing this person, but we are no longer together and as such my sex life has been at a total standstill for the last 3 years. I have a very pressing complex here that I can't seem to overcome - though it's nothing i can really help. The fact is that I have less than spectacularly large equipment for the job. In fact I make up the apex of the bell curve - as average as humanly possible. Meanwhile, it seems that the average is way the hell off since it would seem everybody and their brother is walking around with 3rd legs these days - so much so that I feel I really can't compete despite the fact I'm very talented at "other" things since it seems size is ALL that matters these days. Going off this premise that the averages are wrong, I'm abnormally small, and most other men are at least moderately well equipped leads me to believe the only way I'll ever be able to secure the companionship of a partner in my life is to somehow eliminate the physical element to avoid ever having to deal with the size issue. I can survive just fine without physical intimacy - been doing it most of my life. I can't expect a partner to, however. It's a shame really to think I have to give up the chance at having someone in my life due to an unfortunately set of genetic circumstances - this would seem to be some sort of Darwinian proxy to keep me from reproducing my defective genes, and it's working VERY well.

My theory here is to try to pursue a one-sided open relationship where I would remain celibate and monogamous and she can pursue sexual fulfillment from another man that could satisfy her needs. I can see the problem here in this theory in the risk of having my partner leave me for the other man, but I'm willing to put in whatever it takes in the other areas of a relationship to mitigate that chance if at all possible. I know this sounds impossible, and it probably is, but is there any hope out there for something like this? I'm tired of being alone and horrified of rejection over this one issue. It's hard enough to even strike up a conversation with a woman these days with this lingering over my head which was already pretty difficult to begin with considering I'm not the most handsome or muscular guy in the world.

What's a guy to do here? I can't make up for this issue using foreplay and other alternative methods every time - eventually she will grow tired of this and move on, I'm sure. I'm thinking it might be better to just get this established from the get go to avoid disappointment down the road.

Thoughts?

[RexyJ]

As a women I say horrible idea... sorry.

A woman connects with heart, brain and emotions. The physical act of intimacy is just the icing on cake of what really matters. So, to think about living 1/2 a relationship because of your equipment is selling yourself short and limiting you to just shallow women who would accept such an arrangement

1st Forget about your equipment size, then start reading up about a women's g-spot, and other erogenous zones. Women read Cosmo and other magazines to get tips, so can men. Not to get graphic, but there are certain foreplay areas that generally produce consistent organisms and women do not get tired of that.

Regardless of size, usually a woman needs extra help to achieve organism. If a man knows what he is doing, then size is not relevant. What really works is patience, dedication, and most importantly touching her biggest erogenous zone-- her brain.

R

[SJ_Guy2012]

Thank you for your quick reply -

Your points on the g-spot and other areas are very valid. Fortunately the lost ground mentioned in the previous post was made up almost entirely with technique building in those areas. Did OK for myself there I guess. Despite this she still threw me to the curb without a reason which I can only infer is an indictment of my abilities to please her the way she wanted. She had an orgasm by way of oral and tactile stimulation every time, but it apparently just wasn't enough to satisfy her. She won't confess this to me candidly as I'm guessing she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, but I know it's true.

[RexyJ]

UW

A woman will only put emphasis on the sexual act if that is the only thing keeping her in that relationship. Hence you equipment and abilities are not relevant when it comes to relationships. Matching her needs helps, really seeing and understanding her as a person is important, and recognizing if the woman is not the right one for you.

For whatever reason, she threw you to the curb, but don't judge the rest of your life based on that relationship. You do not need a confirmation of why, just a appreciation of yourself.

[asdfg789]

@OP, I dont think your ex left due to bad sex. It seems you understand very little about women in general.

Seek to understand women better and you will have better luck, small penis or otherwise.

[MaidenMinx]

I think you are in need of some confidence man. You don't have to be good looking, muscular or have a huge package to be attractive, if that were the case I know plenty of people that should be single. When it comes to your lacking in the package department (by the way, there is nothing wrong with average. I've only ever known a few chicks that want huge cocks, and they were... well over used), it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the amount of fight in the dog.

Stop picking on yourself, get out there and start doing something to build your confidence.

[Maple1714]

Size is not ALL that matters, OP. I dated a guy who had a very small penis...So small you couldn't even really see it through his pubes when it was soft. Sorry a bit graphic. Anyway, he was super hot and you would have thought he had a big package b/c everything else was right on...but no small. I was crazy about him and had an orgasm almost every time we were together. Sure, I wished that his junk was bigger...but it wasn't a deal breaker for me. The deal breaker was that we fought all the time and he was kind of dumb. He got lots of girls though...everyone at college thought he was the hottest. He had tons of confidence, and that is what is attractive.

Soooo don't worry so much about size. It's really not a deal breaker for most. You are not the only guy out there with a small penis! You can find a partner and be happy.

[smackie9]

There are different sized penises as well as different size vaginas.....just have to find the right fit.

[TheCafeTerrace]

...I have a very pressing complex here that I can't seem to overcome - though it's nothing i can really help. The fact is that I have less than spectacularly large equipment for the job. In fact I make up the apex of the bell curve - as average as humanly possible. Meanwhile, it seems that the average is way the hell off since it would seem everybody and their brother is walking around with 3rd legs these days - so much so that I feel I really can't compete...

So you have an average sized dick and you think this is far too small for the job?

You, sir, are a moron.

[Maple1714]

So you have an average sized dick and you think this is far too small for the job?

You, sir, are a moron.

LOL. Dude has some serious confidence issues. I feel bad for him...

I tell my baby girl every single day that she is the smartest and most beautiful girl in the whole world. She is only 1, but still she needs to hear it from the beginning so she KNOWS. Everyone should think that they are special/unique/wonderful...b/c we all are

OP - look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that your penis is just fine. It wasn't you, it was the girl....seriously.

[TheCafeTerrace]

I tell my baby girl every single day that she is the smartest and most beautiful girl in the whole world. She is only 1, but still she needs to hear it from the beginning so she KNOWS.

Be careful what you wish for - if she believes it she could end up like me: arrogant, self-aggrandising and over-confident... It does feel damn good though.

People don't always need to believe they're beautiful and smart, not everyone is, but a lot of people do need to stop feeling sorry for themselves despite their percieved imperfections. Self-pity is never attractive.

[SJ_Guy2012]

Thank you for your replies (excluding TheCafeTerrace - you sir can kiss my ***). The confidence issue is a vicious cycle unfortunately, and not easily resolved. Well that's the last you'll all see of me here given people like Terrace are stalking this forum...thought this might be a decent place for some help, not to get chastised, but given this a-hole has over 200 posts on this forum, he's a fixture here apparently. You win Terrace. I sincerely appreciate everyone else's input, however.

[SJ_Guy2012]

Admin - please delete my account. No means in the User CP to do this apparently, I can't get a PM to you either (or at least they don't show up in my sent messages). Sorry to all but one person for the bad language above - was a bit angry with the poster in question.

Thanks.

[smackie9]

Instead of posting your issue and letting a bunch of strangers get all over it, spend your time doing research on it....

[TheCafeTerrace]

Sorry to all but one person for the bad language above - was a bit angry with the poster in question.

Christ, all I did was call you a moron for thinking an average-sized dick is inadequate to fulfil women's needs. Talk about being thin-skinned.