My husband and I can't see eye-to-eye. He said "ask 20 couples and they'll agree with me." That's why I'm here. If I can learn something, or he can learn something from your thoughts, then maybe we'll argue less. I want to hear your opinion about who is "right" in this situation.
Here's the story:
We got into a fight last night. Needing a break, I left (at around 1:30am) to sleep at my office. I didn't leave "angry" (no door slamming, but fed up and hurt). He asked where I was going and I told him. I got dressed, packed a blanket, and left.
The next morning he called me just before 9am, which I didn't answer (heard the phone but went back to sleep/shut the phone off). He sent texts right after saying "I'm at work so you can go home if you want" and another asking where I was. I didn't respond to these.
Once I was up and working, he called/sent texts asking where I was, which I didn't respond to.
Between 9am-12:45pm he called about 8 times/sent 5 texts?
Then after his last call at 12:45, he sent a text saying "You need to respond to me or I'm going to start calling people looking for you."
He called a few minutes after that text, and I answered. I did not want to answer this phone call, but I did, even though I didn't fully believe his "threat" (because I have no "friends" in the sense that I have people I "run to when I'm hurt") but I answered just in case.
I answered the phone and let him steer the conversation, because I had nothing I felt compelled to share at that time (hence the not texting/answering the phone). He brought up the argument from the night before, so I discussed it with him. It was fairly calm but not a "healing" conversation or anything. At some point I felt hurt/disregarded by something and brought up how I "felt bullied into having this conversation" referring to the way he got me to actually answer the phone.
Then it became an argument about that, which basically boils down to two sides:
HIS: "You left in the middle of the night and I was worried about you and wanted to know where you are. Even if you responded saying 'f you' just respond so I know you're ok. If you don't want to talk, that's ok, we don't have to talk."
HERS: I was taking "space" or just letting my mind settle or whatever you want to call it. I wasn't consciously deciding "I'm not ready to talk" but when confronted with a text or phone call, I knew I wasn't ready to talk -- not even to say "I'm ok." I needed time.
And as far as being bullied:
HERS: I felt bullied into talking to you when I didn't want to. You "threatened" me to get what you wanted and it makes me feel like I have no choice in what I want to do -- which was, at the moment, to take a break.
HIS: We owe it to each other because we're married and we care about each other. You should still answer even just to say "I'm ok."
So, I ask you -- what would YOU do? Do you think one person is right or wrong, or more or less fair?
Thoughts??