Managing time with girlfriend while i work away...

[roota]

I work away in the mines on a week on week off roster.....

Now.... my job is physically demanding.... 12hrs a day.... day/night shift.... and after a week of it im so over it I sometimes want to quit however once im back i love my work due to the money.....

My girlfriend expects me to come home straight away after flying in..... after day shift i fly back into town around 730pm... we live south of the city so by the time we get home its 9pm and my gf is ready for bed..... as for me... it feels like i just got out of jail.... i wanna do things.... I have a bust of energy..... i find myself laying in bed wide awake til 1 maybe 2am when i might fall asleep...

The next day....
I am not allowed to see mates straight after flying in until i have spent enough time with her.... if i see my mates 2 days in a row she feels like she has been tossed aside. i cant even go watch a footy game with my mates... anything involving my mates she wants to come, which i dont mind from time to time but when we get there and shes the only girl and she gets bored i tell her its not my fault... u wanted to come.... she will never let us take seperate cars to events with mates.. yet all my friends gfs arent there becuz they know watching the footy is boring as bat shit to them and they dont really want to hang around with 6 guys drinkin beer

I like to get my drinking/partying/seeing mates stuff done in the first part of my break..... first 2 maybe 3 days.... Then after that.... im ready to relax and do wateva the girlfriend needs/wants giving her 3 to 4 days....... is this so wrong???

i feel like im with my mother and shes telling me a cant go out..... im reliving my teenage years and its driving me insane.....

Cheers for reading and i would like to hear some other peoples thoughts

Thanks
BT

[MaidenMinx]

All I can say at this hour of the weekend ( ie 2240 on a Sunday) is that your request is not unreasonable. How to get her to see that..... well I might have some insight on that on the morrow.

[HeartIsAching]

Heh... you've landed yourself an insecure, isolating control freak.

Run.

[smackie9]

You are with the wrong girl. You want a girl that is totally down for some football, drinkin beer and shootin the shit with the guys. You are with a typical high maintenance diva that wants her man's world to revolve around her or it's drama time. Break up with her. I suggest you find someone that is more compatible, and doesn't feel like you are lugging around heavy luggage.

[smackie9]

Just throwing it out there......since you make good money there are alternatives to getting sex.

[HeartIsAching]

You are with the wrong girl. You want a girl that is totally down for some football, drinkin beer and shootin the shit with the guys. You are with a typical high maintenance diva that wants her man's world to revolve around her or it's drama time. Break up with her. I suggest you find someone that is more compatible, and doesn't feel like you are lugging around heavy luggage.

I didn't read it that way at all. I read it as her being controlling of all of his time. He says she is not ok with him spending time with his mates, period.

[qwertz]

Tell her all of this, that you need time away to hang with your friends, if she doesnt like it then tough, find someone else.

[poathomson]

I agree she is way overbearing, with my OH if i lived with him I would be completely fine if he went of with his friends when he got back from a week away because i still get to see him at some point in the day. My OH always likes me at things with his friends cuz I am one of those gfs that enjoy the guy stuff, but when its something i don't like i wont go, no body likes someone complaining. You need to discuss this with her and if she doesn't want to change how she is I would say seriously consider breaking up, it isnt a nice thing to come back to every other week.

[wolfie91]

She is probably extra clingy right when you get home because she missed you (and made herself insecure) while you were away. So the fact that you want to spend time with your friends right away has got to be threatening (or at least upsetting) to her. It reinforces those insecurities and makes her unbearable to be around.

This could just be her personality. Or, possibly, you could turn it around by having a relaxed and honest conversation with her. Explain your energy--that you feel like you have nowhere to put it, and that you really just need to blow off steam with your friends. If she's receptive to that, you may be able to reach an understanding.

[smackie9]

I didn't read it that way at all. I read it as her being controlling of all of his time. He says she is not ok with him spending time with his mates, period.

High maintenance diva isn't the same as controlling? She wants it to be all about her and not his friends....She's obviously not very flexible. Maybe she should date someone who isn't working out of town all the time.

[lahnnabell]

Eventually it's going to come down to your job or your relationship, or your friends or your relationship... "Which do you value more?" is the very basic question you need to ask yourself.

[Dependable]

i work a a job similar to yours but 28 days on/off, which i hate being away, but when i am on vacation it is awsome, i earn good money and have lots of time to do anything, when i was single it was perfect, now i am going on year #2 with me soon to be wife and she hates it, my issues with her our following
1. wants me to constantly call her
2. never wants to hang up the phone
3. when i come home after travling for 30 hours wants to have multiple sex sessions when i just want to go te bed
4. has some trust issues, but we have been working this out.

[reeba]

I'm from an area where the majority of the guys have work schedules like that. It isn't a good scenerio. Lots of cheating, lots of unhappy relationships. It will be an extra challenge for you to find the right girl. And this one is NOT the right girl. Lonely pissed off girls are the ones that cheat.

Anyway, why be so insistant that the first few nights are yours and your friends, and then the next are hers. Balance it out. Spend a couple of hours with her, go out with your friends at night if there is a good game on TV.

[HeartIsAching]

High maintenance diva isn't the same as controlling? She wants it to be all about her and not his friends....She's obviously not very flexible. Maybe she should date someone who isn't working out of town all the time.

Yeah sorry, read it wrong.

[ctr916]

Maybe you can ask her to come up with some hobbies you both may enjoy and spend some quality time together doing it. It would be something you could do together that is special to the both of you and lets you spend quality time together.

Alternatively, you could ask your mates if their girlfriends can do some chick stuff together while the guys watch the game; it wouldn't even need to be at the same place.