My boyfriend broke it off.... but plans to MARRY me!??!?!

[Lessia]

Hey.
my boyfriend broke up with me on saturday. we've been going out for 2 yrs (in Oct). hes awesome but has been feeling a little stressed lately. hes a manager, one of his staff is suicidal, his mom has MS and he has 3 brothers and is the eldest. hes also starting teachers college this fall and is freaking out about that. on sat i surprised him by bringing him breakfast on my way to work. i brought him breakfast at his work. he flipped. he said he was worried about me driving, that im a new driver (been driving since last october), i shouldnt go out of my way to get him things, hes worried about me getting into an accident, etc, etc. NOTE: my work and his work are about 2.5 miles away from each other. he then proceeded to have a small panick attack, complete with hyper ventilating. i tried to console him but i was pretty embarassed he has told his entire staff i was a "new driver" and he was treating me like a child. so i left. i was a bit pissed, all i wanted was a "thanks babe, u didnt have to do that!" anyway, that night he calls me and breaks it off... ON THE PHONE. says the following:
-cant commit to a relationship
-this anxiety of worrying about you is too much
-i wish i met you in 6 yrs cuz i want to marry you
-i dont want to bring you down with me
-i just need some time to myself to figure this out and feel better
-i want to be friends
-i love you
-im in love with you

I then called him an asshole and he got in the car to come say it in person.

way to make a girl confused, right? anyway, after much debate about how i want to stay by him and help him out he refused. claiming that since he loves and cares for me the most in his life, his strategy is that if he gets rid of me, the anxiety with go away bc he wont worry about me... but if he still loves me, wont he worry anyway? he hopes one day things can work out between us and for now he wants me to be his friend he can call on... but im not cool with that. im not a doormat. and he broke my heart.
i would rather he tell me he doesnt want me anymore cuz he doesnt love me, but its not the case.. i know he does. he left my house by giving me a kiss, and saying "ill call you tomorrow, i love you." how weird right?... for a break up... the first 2 days i was a wreck.. now im starting to feel pissed. how can he do that? and what do you think will happen/ what does it mean???

thanks so much,
-lessia

p.s 2 weeks ago he got pissed i didnt tell everyone at work i was his gf (bc i just entered his field) ... why would he care if he was gonna DUMP me?
- and he told me about a month ago that "hey babyyy!!! I bought your 2 yr anniversary GIFT!"

what. a. mind. ****!

[doppelgaenger]

Give him a toothy blowjob.

[carl1222]

He's drowning and he seems to be looking for a life preserver. Dumping you gives him one less responsibility. He needs help ... help that is beyond you. He seems to be giving up ... are you sure he isn't the suicidal one at work?

Carl.

[Lessia]

hey carl. thanks for the reply, but hes not suicidal. i am scared for him though. hes very sympathetic towards others. hes a people pleaser and his weighing heavy on him bc hes not making himself happy. i know i make him happy but he feels that bc of all the stresses hes not making me happy and thinks that by dumping me he gives himself some more room and allows me to meet others, get a chance at being happy instead of going down with him... but im realizing now that id stay by him and maybe im too hard on him sometimes. i just want him to be better so badly that sometimes i brush it off and get angry when he acts so controlling. i dont know, i think he should see a doctor though.. or someone who hes not emotionally attached to to show him how to list and prioritize. regardless of whether it works out, i hope hes better soon.

[carl1222]

Yeah, he sees a mountain. He needs somebody neutral who can show him it's really a molehill if he works on it step by step. Get him to a shrink.

Carl.

[Lessia]

i can't. we're not talking.. and i don't want to pester him, then he'll never come back.

[Gigabitch]

He's a mess. What a pain in the ass. I can see how he might be unavailable right now. I say leave him alone for now. He really can't handle it.

[kirig]

give him a toothy blowjob.

i agree

[freakme619]

That kind of boyfriend is so weird. I can tell he's a pain in the ass. Why the hell did he do that to you. You even haven't done anything wrong. You better not talk to him. Let him know that it's his lost why he broke up with you. Damn guy, I like to punch him on the face if I can.

[aznprincess]

there's always a stage in a relationship where you get confused on what you really want, just like wedding jitters when all of a sudden they change their minds at the last minute. You know what, do yourself a favor and stop trying to figure things out and just relax, not everything can be explained, only time will tell.

[Lessia]

yea. so true. ive been pretty sick these last couple days, maybe a bug or maybe just stress. whatever, all i know is i feel like crap. my mom's making me go out tonight and thinks if i see other guys (not date right away.. just flirt) then ill feel better. i dont know, i hope he gets better though. and i really hope he comes crawlin just so i can have that satisfaction. supposedly he did something similar to his ex, but they were sooo wrong for each other, he didnt love her and after he broke it off he still held on for a bit. so i guess, if h really loves and cares for me, hell take this time alone and come back. with flowers.