Need help :/ about lost love

[Unrecr]

Well...i broke up with my ex gf about 6 months ago, we were dating for about a year by that time. She said she needed "space" and well she has this cousin that got into our relationship, telling her that i don't really love her, that our relationship was false, that she was a lot for me...at the end the whole family got in our way.The point is she dumped me and by the next 2 weeks she started dating another guy which is her current boyfriend. We continue to be "friends" and talk to each other like every day and i didn't care that is was causing me lots of pain. The first times we hung out as "friends" she still make out. I couldn't continue with the enormous pain of not being with her so i ask her for a "time" so i stop talking to her like for a month and i was finally getting over it and for the first time in a looong looong time i was feeling "happy". Then about a month she reach me and well...we started talking again, she is so strange when we saw each other for the first time after my "time" she started crying and telling me how much she missed me and how much she wanted me, but she is still with the other guy! Well some mutual friends told me that they don't look like a couple in public they do like like friends, she tells me that she is tired of him because they can't talk, that he never calls her...she has called me in the past 3 weeks crying asking me for help because she wants to break up with him but "she doesn't have the courage and he neither"...i still love her i really have tried to really get over it, but i have realized that i really love her! I feel used, i feel worthless, why if she really care about me she has put me through all this six months?? the last time we saw each other was last friday i she was mean with and i have been through some other harsh stuff this year my parents split up a couple of months ago i was victim of domestic violence and being depressed hasn't help me...it's been a hell of a year...i just didn't want to feel alone and have someone to talk to and to feel affect from someone...i just needed a chance to show her how much i love her, how much i have to give her...

[Chazza2k]

Hey Unrecr,

Its a tough and difficult circumstance you have described I'm sorry you are going through such a bad time.

You still have deep feelings for her but I don't believe they are shared by her for you. She's still with another man but still seems to want the friendship and emotional ties you shared even though thats causing you huge pain. She misses you but doesn't want to be with you? Also ask yourself truthfully how much do you really blame her cousin for the split?? For me the 2 weeks after you were told she needed "space" is a huge RED FLAG, I be suspicous that this new boyfriend was the reason for SPACE?

I know whats its like to feel you need her in your life, the feeling down and endlessly thinking about her, the crazy dreams etc... that without her your somehow lacking something in your life, me and my Ex split 4 months ago, this recent attension from her towards you has got to be hugely confusing.
I did what you did, didnt talk for two months, felt alot better for it then had a weak moment when I arranged to meet her for coffee, we met, its been difficult as hell since that meet for me... we agreed to be friends after, it really was me TXT'n her but she had no interest in them, i got 2 or 3 words back and it killed me everytime, then she started ignoring me... I realised that I cannot contact her again, so removed everything of hers off my computer. I got to realise its Over, Finished.

Regardless of what they look like in public together they are still a couple and until she breaks up with this other guy will continue to be a couple. Whatever bad things she says he does or doesn't do really shouldn't be any of your concern... Its a tatic for you to feel sorry for her, that you are needed in someway (my Ex is a master at this too and fooled me over and over) DONT BELIEVE A WORD OF THIS BREAK-UP COURAGE... I mean she didn't have that trouble with you when she needed SPACE right!?

I know you are feeling hugely hurt, depressed and vulnerable right now, it really makes you a very easy target for her to play any game she wants with you and believe me she knows this... You are not worthless and you are being used right now. For the sake of yourself I would think very carefully of getting back with her right now.. if that does happen I think it wouldn't be the same and you really wouldn't trust her..

The answer to the why would she'd do this too you if she really cared... is that really she doesn't, perhaps the relationship with this guy isn't what she thought it would be and wants to test the waters before dumping him, be warned though if she does come back to you becareful that history doesn't repeat. It hurts twice as much the second time around if it ends the same way..

Goodluck for whatever you decide to do.