Boyfriend's old friend..am I being really insecure?

[LilyAnnne]

Sorry in advance for this really long post..

To summarize, my boyfriend's (we've been dating for 8 months) old friend came to visit from another country and she's going to be staying a while. She isn't staying in his house, but they do see each other occasionally. I haven't met her, and I don't think I will be (my boyfriend and I are in a LDR you see..) anytime soon. My boyfriend is three years younger than me, btw, and they are both the same age.

What troubles me is when I visit his facebook, she leaves these comments on his wall along the lines of, "i fight you because you're EVIL!!" and smiley faces and stuff..anyway, from what he told me he makes fun of her height whenever he sees her, and they would fight..playfully of course. To me, it seemed like she was flirting with him and it bothered me..a lot.

Now before anyone says to talk to him about this, I did. I asked him who she was, he told me about her. She has a boyfriend who lives in her country and she was an old friend of his. I told him I was getting concerned about her facebook comments because in some of her comments, it indicated that she was over at his house. I proceeded to tell him that I was afraid he would cheat on me or leave me because it seemed like they were getting too close. He informed me again that she already had a boyfriend and that he would never do such a thing, which didn't help much. Still worried, he told me it was pointless and trivial to think that he would cheat on or leave me and that I was "old enough to know this." I told him I had a history of being cheated on with previous boyfriends, and he understood and assured me that he wouldn't do that to me.

I try to tell myself to trust him on this, and that he would never do this. It's difficult for me because I am his first girlfriend ever, so he doesn't have any history of past relationships like I do. She still leaves comments on his facebook that concerns me because she's at his house.

Am I just being a really insecure twat? Should I trust his word?

He has more female friends, btw, and I don't mind them. This is the only female friend I had a problem with because of her comments.

Any feedback or advice is very well appreciated! I'm slowly losing my trust in him and it saddens me. He tells me he cares about me and loves me very much, but this girl is just keeping me from believing him.

[jadelil25]

First - Just take a moment out, relax and breathe.

I am sure all will be fine. Your boyfriend seems understanding and you are probably worrying over nothing. I know it is hard, I have been cheated on before. You need to try and relax and move on from the past.

They have not done anything wrong and you can not stop him from having friends and there is nothing wrong with the messages that she puts on the wall. Also if he was going to cheat they would not make it so public. I send kisses and smiley faces to all my friends boys and girls.

Just go out and have fun with your friends. Take your mind off things and relax or join a club, get a hobby or go to the gym.

Trust is an important factor in a relationship and relationships can not work with out it. You will also be pushing your boyfriend away if you carry on behaving like this. I have been there and got the t shirt!

Please dont worry, Im sure all will be fine!

[Junket]

I proceeded to tell him that I was afraid he would cheat on me or leave me because it seemed like they were getting too close. He informed me again that she already had a boyfriend and that he would never do such a thing, which didn't help much.

What else do you expect him to do? Avoid everybody you have a bad feeling about?

If that's the case your relationship will go south reeeeeeal fast.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think she sounds like anything to worry about. If it's important enough to you, go buy a plane ticket and meet her.

LDRs are not for jealous people. You're just torturing yourself.

[kate_spencer]

What else do you expect him to do? Avoid everybody you have a bad feeling about?

If that's the case your relationship will go south reeeeeeal fast.

Nice one Frasbee.

Am I just being a really insecure twat?

I guess.. yes. Though, I cannot blame you cause you said you'd been cheated before.. you're just being cautious and these cheating history really made you feel insecure.
I think you just have to hold onto your boyfriend's words.. cause I think he's serious about your relationship and he understand you.. though you just have to calm yourself and trust him.

Why don't you make friends with this girl.. in facebook, since it's where all it started.. add her to your friends' list and ask what's your boyfriend's been doing.