Everything is on his terms.

[c_bunnie]

I don't know how I got myself into this situation. Maybe I was just blinded by love but I've come to realise something. Everything is on his terms. I've always been a strong decisive woman, and stubborn at that but I find myself just bending to this guy's will. I mean we have a wonderful sex life but other things like going out for dinner, going out together for drinks etc. It's always on his terms and if he changes his mind then I'm supposed to change my plans to suit him. I was very relaxed about this at the beginning, not wanting to appear not easy going enough/ to scare him away but it's been 6 months and I'm starting to feel like a sex object (which is all well and good) but if he cares about me like he says he does then I don't get how he can act like this.

[shheadz]

I did that kind of stuff when I was young, and it's because I was selfish. I thought about myself before thinking of others. To make things easier I thought of myself as a playboy, and if she didn't like it, then that was ok. There were other girls waiting in the wings, and I could start the whole cycle all over with a new girl.

Selfishness isn't something you're going to change in him. Either his mom should have raised him better, or he's going to have to come to a realization himself, and instigate change on his own.

You could try pulling some of the same stunts on him, but it probably won't help. He'll just think you're a bitch, and won't even recognize the hypocrisy. So either put up with it, or dump him. Dumping him might give him a chance to see the error of his ways, but it will take a while. So you can't dump him, and take him back a week later.

[vashti]

I don't see what you are upset about. He changes his plans and notifies you, and you have the option to not participate. Exercise your options, and stop blaming him for the choices you make. Maybe if he sees you not being as flexible, he will stop changing plans.

[c_bunnie]

Well I did what anyone should do. I talked to him and he agreed with me. He said that he never wanted to hurt me but when I painted a picture of him acting selfishly he said that he joined the dots and could see my reasoning. He apologised for being unfair and I forgive him. Although time will tell. Actions speak louder than words.

[shheadz]

Good! Cut him a little slack though. It's going to take him time to change, so don't explode on him if he messes up a little along the way.

[lovedoctor007]

If he really loves you, he will find a lot more time for you and will plan a lot more activities together, if not he probably seeks mostly sexual pleasure or has more girls