Male input needed

[Makeme]

Ok I'm going to keep this short... I've been with my bf for 6 years.. We have been broken up for a little over a month now.. We had a very good relationship . To be totally honest I was taken by surprise when we broke up.. I think he was too.. I really thought we were going to get married, or in the very least it was headed there ... A couple weeks back we had a talk ( keep in mind we pretty much work together in the same bldg) and we pretty much live together... He upstairs I downstairs in an apt complex.. We initially moved to be close to each other rather than the whole drive to stay with each other every night.. We both have been married and divorced.. So.. Not in a hurry to do the whole jump in and live together thing.. I value my independence and I feel he does as well... So after the initial break up .. I cried.. Said I love him etc etc.. I want to be together again.. At that time he did not seem as if he were interested in this... I was angry and crushed... Fast forward.. He keeps texting me things like., how r u? Did u eat anything today?...have a good day at work... Etc etc.. I don't get it..?.. If he stopped loving me for whatever reason...why does he care how I'm doing?.. Or if I've eaten?... I keep holding on to hope... But..part of me knows better... I still love him and want him back... But I'm not initiating contact ... I stay out of his way.. So I don't run into him... I don't go to places where I think he will go just to avoid a run in... But like I said he lives above me and I can hear when he's at home... Sigh... What do you guys think?

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond .

[stev123]

Males are really decisive with their emotions, he probably wants you back. Of course this is too vague for me to give you any real input. but if he had moved on from you etc, he wouldn't be texting you these sort of things.

[Makeme]

Thank you for your input stev123.. Should I put more details? I didn't want to be so long winded.. I just don't understand the actions

[basilandthyme]

Makeme, how about you stop being so passive.

If I were you, I'd text back "You made it quite clear that you don't want me as a girlfriend - so quit with all these texts". If he says some rubbish about missing you or wanting you as a friend, tell him that you have no interest in being just a friend.

It's win/win really. If he starts to miss you, he may change his mind and want you back in his life as a girlfriend. If he doesn't want you back in his life as a girlfriend, then him stopping with the contact will give you space to heal.

You can take the reigns if you just pick them up.

[basilandthyme]

Thank you for your input stev123.. Should I put more details? I didn't want to be so long winded.. I just don't understand the actions

You don't need to understand his actions. Just stop accepting his confusing behaviour.

[stev123]

Makeme, how about you stop being so passive.

If I were you, I'd text back "You made it quite clear that you don't want me as a girlfriend - so quit with all these texts". If he says some rubbish about missing you or wanting you as a friend, tell him that you have no interest in being just a friend.

It's win/win really. If he starts to miss you, he may change his mind and want you back in his life as a girlfriend. If he doesn't want you back in his life as a girlfriend, then him stopping with the contact will give you space to heal.

You can take the reigns if you just pick them up.

This :p
There is never really an explanation for the actions, but if you do this there is no way it can go wrong. good luck

[Makeme]

Thank you basil.. Lol I guess I really needed a good kick in the ass to do that.. Great advice.. The net text I get .. That will be exactly my response

[HeheMan]

He probably feels bad because you took the break up really hard... but in the end who cares? No sense in holding on... tell him you need your space and move on with life.

[Makeme]

Hi all, he texted me again and I said exactly the above... Just updating..

[michelle23]

Thanks for the update. Let us no what he says. Its hard it will take time but your strong and you will heal

[Makeme]

Thank you Michelle, no reply yet.. Maybe that's a good thing?.. Gonna have a cocktail to soothe my nerves ...

[HeheMan]

I'm drinking because my boyfriend didn't tell me he has premature ejaculation.

[Wakeup]

Okay... that made me lol I think you have the wrong thread, He.

[VincenzoG91]

Okay... that made me lol I think you have the wrong thread, He.

Don't judge him.

[Makeme]

Lol oh wow he I hope that wasn't directed at me...