ring expectency??

[neo511]

my girlfriend of 10 months have been discussing marriage and rings and that stuf lately.. we are only 21 but i think are ready to have a family.. its quite early i know.. but its mutual..
anyway, she says she if afraid of being in the "dinky-ring-club", so i was thinking you know 1/4 karrat or less would be too small.... well, we went to the jewelry store.. and the guy put a 3/4 karrat diamond on her.. and.. "its cute" WTF??!! 1 or more karrats.. speechless...
well, i asked her.. what if i couldnt afford anything bigger that 3/4 .. she told me to save up.. im not cheap and i was thiking about around 1 karrat anyway.. but it kills me when she say " i wont be happy with a small ring" and i ask her.. "you cant be happy with what you get?" shes tells me no..

Ladies.. its this "normal" or is she very superfical? what should I do?? PLEASE HELP ME!!

[Amyejean]

Are you kidding me? I am a girl who has been waiting for my boyfriend to propose to me...I don't carte if he did it with a cracker jack ring..It's the thought that counts and the size of the ring don't mean the size of your love.
So she is not going to be happy with a small ring...well i think this should be a wake up call for you to notice that this girl might nto be happy unless she gets what she wants and do you really want to spend your life with someone that is so shallow and picky at a very romantic and wonderful moment.
I would tell her stright that she should be happy with what you get her, and if she isn't than there is no reason to be married if this is going to make her miserable for the rest of her life.

Amye

[KirstyM]

Yes I think she's being a bit selfish...

[neo511]

i told her that.. but, she tells me.. shes been raised by her paretns giving her eveythings shes ever wanted .. and that she knows its wont to think like that.. but deep down she would be disappointed with a small ring..

[KirstyM]

Wouldnt she rather the money was spent on sorting out your future together rather than just a ring

[abercromqt20]

that's just the most selfish thing i have ever heard. her focus should be on spending the rest of your life together, not on the ring. i mean as a girl, yes...... i would love to get this huge beautiful diamond, but if my man can afford it, he can't afford it. seems like ur girl just might be very high maintanance. you better be ready to marry a girl like that. i say buy her whatever you can afford, if she doesn't accept it then you know what's more important to her.

[neo511]

thanks ladies.. i talked to her.. "it was an eye opener" .. i guess she not ready.. she doesnt want to hurry up and get married and regret partying.. and hate me in 5 years for not letting her go out with friends.. and get drunk.. F'IN LAME!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry.. Im reaally upset... Nothing like getting your dreams smashed.. especially your future!

[Amyejean]

At least it was an eye opener. And that you didn't rush into anything. But don't think that every woman/girl is the same way. There are tons of us that would be happy with no ring at all, just to know that you wanted just to spend your life with them alone.

Amye

[Jenrick285]

10 months is kinda like uh... soonish
But her response does make you wonder, if she's looking forward to being with you, or being with her idea ring

^_~

[abercromqt20]

yeah just be happy you found out now instead of down the road.

[Illusional]

mutha ****a... that is what i think when i hear of what you are talking about. seriously ask her, well after i buy you your ring, what kinda car are you gonna get me?? i'm satisfied with nothing short of a bentley and ask her how it sounds.

raverboy

[abercromqt20]

that is so fair game. be like i just wouldn't be happy with anything less. hey, that reasoning works for her. y shouldn't it for you?!?

[neo511]

thank you so much for your help..
i talked to her again.. shes said, shes not ready and justs wants to "act her age" .. which is HORSE SHYT!!
To help.. sides notes: I had a HUGE car accident in 2001, head on collision on the hgihway.. many many broken bones.. almost die.. recovered... last year found out more good news... i have leukemia... im in remission now
...
but.. i just feel like.. i dont want to waste anymore time, with stupid stuff.. like partying drinking. etc.. i just want to live my life, have a family ya know?.. i am REALLY focused on my future right now..
i give her everything.. spend everyday with her.. tell her i love her 50 times a day..
i guess because of those things ^ .. my life is in fas-forward... and because im on chemo.. i dont even know if i can have kids.. which.. makes me feel like i got shot in the stomach.. it hurts.. i just dont know... :`(

[abercromqt20]

you can't really blame her for wanting to do all those things. i mean you are only young once and if she wants to do them she has every right. just because you are in a hurry to get married (and i can see y) doesn't mean she has to be. i think it's very healthy of her actually to recognize that she thinks she is too young to get married at 20, and to have the guts to speak up for herself and not just get married and regret it later. the whole ring issue aside.... if shes the one she will be there later. but please, don't try to make her feel guilty for doing the things she wants to do b4 she settles down. she will only hate you for it in the end if you do.

[squirrley]

Man, thats just wrong. A high maintenance woman in the making, who the hell wants that? And that would be JUST the beginning. I dont care if she tells you she was raised to get everything thing she wants, welcome to the real world honey, money doesnt grow on trees, and she certainly has proven herself, she's not ready for the real deal here, she's more concerned about what people will think, and say, not your love.

Damn good thing you found out now. I think its really shitty for a women to place such a "Demand" for the size of ring she wants, she should be giddy beyond belief just to be with her man. I would NEVER EVER freakn tell my boyfriend, yea I wouldnt want anything smaller than...thats bullshit. A man's biggest step is acknowledging the fact hes made a decision to committ to one woman, and she places THAT on his shoulders? its called self centeredness. And a whole list of other negative descriptions. A man should be able to go out and freely choose the ring for his girlfriend. THAT SIMPLE, without all these adendums attached. I feel for you. But you did find out now anyway, your g/f isnt ready. Hopefully some growing up time will change her mental status.