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Thread: A long, though not very complicated story. Opinions and advice needed.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    148

    A long, though not very complicated story. Opinions and advice needed.

    I've posted about this girl before I believe and got sound advice that I chose not to take at that time. Now, I am coming back asking for more advice. I don't know if I will follow it 100% but I just need to hear what people think. I figured this was a good place to go.

    Backstory: I met my current girl friend about 3 years ago in a night club. I usually don't visit them, but we kinda ran into each other. At the time, she was on a break from an abusive ex. For 2 and a half years we would talk on and off. She was breaking it off with him and moving out, while I was in a relationship that didn't work out (nothing to do with current girl). We dated for a month or so at the start... but broke up.

    About us: I am a 23 year white old male. I don't have a GED, don't really plan to. My life choice, I don't need a lecture on that, but if you must say something the door is open for you since, after all, I am in need of some advice. She is a 25 year old African American female with an LPN license, though she has (as recently as about a month ago) decided to quit healthcare because it just isn't for her. She takes car of two elderly and sick parents, while I have a very strained relationship with my mom, who I live with right now. I don't know how to appreciate family values, while she is all about them.

    She is a very social person. Likes to go out and half a drink (which I think is sometimes one too many), has a million friends, etc etc. I on the other hand am a virgin, am not terribly social though I am not socially awkward, and have very few friends, by choice, because I believe the ones that I do have are real true friends.

    Our fights: We, in the past and present, have and are fighting about everything. From how her mom treats her, to going out, to friends. Here is MY side of the fights. She always has a problem when I get upset with something. No matter what it is, she always takes blame on herself, then gets mad, calls me crazy, and we fight for 3 hours on end going around in circles until I beg her to take me back for something I (usually) didn't do... I'm begging for a relationship that my other half doesn't want. Buuut here's the kicker. She says she never wants to dump me, she just doesn't know what else to do when I get "rude and intolerant" with her. Yes I do have a temper. Yes, I've been those things with her, but when I say I'm not upset and she keeps informing me that I am and pushes the issue for 15 minutes, I get a little cranky. Either way, its obviously a mind ****, a control and power play, and.... it sucks.

    Happy/unhappy: Obviously I've come to a resolution of what I need to do in my head, and my heart is catching up to it. We have amazing times together, really truly amazing times, but the constant break ups and being told I'm crazy all of the time is unbearable. But is a genuine loner who wants nothing more than for his girl to be happy, break it off with a girl that is half monster and half amazing.

    I can't resolve that in my head. I keep saying there are solutions to things we fight about, but they've been long thought of. Execution fails most of the time. I'm emotionally drained from this experience, and worst of all, I repeatedly get dumped by a girl who is in love with me and apparently never wants to do it.

    Is this a case where we are just too different for each other? Sometimes I really think so, and other times I wonder.

    Appreciate any and all thoughts I get on the matter, will reply as needed.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    moms basement
    Posts
    461
    Youre 23 and never had your hole? wtf
    When i was your age , i was beating them off with a shitty stick.
    Ditch this pain in the arse and get out in the world and sow your oats.
    Plenty of time for this relationship shite when your 40, and by that age you just pretend your listening while breaking record after record on tigers amazing new golf game. (available at all good stockists btw)
    Last edited by mwahahaha; 08-05-12 at 01:59 PM. Reason: very poor spelling lol

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,030
    DH, sounds like you already know the answer (the whole being very different from each other). I mean, every couple fights once in awhile but if it's that often and in such a way as you describe it, i'd think about moving on. Other than that, all you could try to do is make some adjustments in your relationship (some rules you both have to follow) to try to lessen it and maybe that helps.
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    68
    Start slowly are interested in

    this.

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