anxiety about inappropriate attraction

[feversome]

i'm attracted to a friend with a girlfriend and the anxiety is driving me crazy. i play in a band with them and am super conscious of doing or saying the wrong thing, looking at him while he's readjusting his belt or taking off a layer of clothing in a hot room or doing something stupid like dancing around to music (which he often does, since we're usually playing music when i see him). i'm afraid of being too hostile or too nice to his girlfriend, either of which would make it obvious, and am anxious about finding the right middle ground when talking to her. it's becoming an uncomfortable situation, the other day i saw them at a gig and he looked at me with derision when i arrived, i felt like i'd invaded their territory by showing up and i went home and posted something about anxiety publicly on facebook because i wanted him to understand he was making me anxious without being direct, the next time i saw them i could clearly see derision in his girlfriend's eyes for what i posted (which made it obvious i'm still attracted to him). i told him i was attracted to him in january when i was having a full on psychotic episode and was being insane and asking him to sleep with me to break a curse, but it hasn't been mentioned since, i just feel like the awareness of it is still at the back of everyone's minds. i keep having panic attacks imagining inappropriate things i might say to him, or worse, to his girlfriend, since i'm way more conscious about being appropriately respectful to her than him. if it had never been mentioned it wouldn't have become a big deal but now that it's out there his perception of me has changed, which is feeding into my perception of him and is making me want him more, because he understands i'm attracted to him and is nice to me as long as i'm respectful, and i can see derision on his face when i'm not (but he's still nice enough anyway).
how do i make this anxiety go away??????

[michelle23]

Get out of the band and get another one. This problem wont just go away

[Insomniash]

If you want to make it less awkward you either need to remove yourself from the situation as Michelle suggested or get over him. You confessed your attraction to him, it didn't go anywhere, and that means it never will. Therefore your attraction towards him is not only cause for awkwardness but pointlessly frustrating for you and everyone involved. It seems quite likely that for your own mental health you really do need to distance yourself.

[Wakeup]

to his girlfriend, since i'm way more conscious about being appropriately respectful to her than him.

You're more "appropriately respectful" to her then you are to him? The very fact that you knew he was in a relationship makes you totally disrespectful to her (when you told him you found him attractive) and shows that you lack a filter.

So; what ails you, luv?