Set myself up for a fall..... I think

[magical_J77]

Hi Everyone, This is my first post and I would say it's good to be on here but as well all know it's sucks. I'll keep my story short, I'm 32 and in April my wife owned up and told me she slept with another guy, even though we cared for each other, our marriage was having problems, she says she was drunk and got carried away in the moment. She had a miscarriage back in February, which at the time I thought was mine but turns out it's more likely his. We are now separated and as painful as it was I put it behind me.

Now my latest agony. Not long after I got back in to the dating game (via online). and after 4 different dates I finally found someone who I connected with. As silly or funny as it sounds we met and broke up on the same weekend......... Yeah I know what your thinking " you hardly know her so why heart broken". before we met we had been chatting first online then talking for hours over the phone. We really got on well, where attracted to each other and liked the same things.

We met on the Friday night and had a fantastic time, she invited me to stay at her place, even thought we didn't have sex we where very close and passionate. We spent the Saturday together too, doing coupley things, It's was like we had been together for months. Then on the evening we went back to her's again where we laid on the couch holding each other. I just happen to drift off to sleep for a few seconds (work that week was manic and I had a late night) when she was freaked out by it, she said it effected her that I couldn't stay awake. I was understanding and apologise to her saying about work and everything, but that was it, she declared she's not ready for a relastionship and it's over.

I know I must sound silly being all cut up over someone I just met, but after weeks off looking and finally finding someone that's just right......... I'm devastated. I guess I just put too much of my heart in to it. After my marriage ended I keep getting the feeling that I'm going to be on my own forever, I can guess the answer is to stop looking and be single for a while....... but I hate being single and for some reason I feel incomplete. I know there's no quick fix answer, I just wanted to get this off my chest and hope to chat to peeps who feel something the same, any way thanks for reading.

[Yggdrasil]

After my marriage ended I keep getting the feeling that I'm going to be on my own forever, I can guess the answer is to stop looking and be single for a while....... but I hate being single and for some reason I feel incomplete. I know there's no quick fix answer, I just wanted to get this off my chest and hope to chat to peeps who feel something the same, any way thanks for reading.

You hit it right on the dot there.

The reason you should stay single for a while, is to get over your marriage. Otherwise you may end up in a rebound.

It also gives you the time to find yourself back, reflect on life, heal, makes plans and all that other good stuff.

Look at what you said: you feel incomplete being single and by yourself. That's a clear indication you lost something about yourself.

Once you're happy being single, then it's time to look for another relation.

Anyways.. you're a grown up.. you do whatever you want.

Live and learn.

[damn2008]

The girl sounds crazy too, she might be in a similar situation (you're a rebound). Why else would she mention "not ready for a relationship" because you dozed off?