Hiding something at his job?

[KidA]

My bf of 3 years lives with me. He is a bouncer at a club on Fridays and Saturdays. He has a real hard time keeping jobs and I've been supporting him all 3 years we've been together. This is the Only job he has kept longer than a month, infact 6 months! because he loves it so much.
Heres why I have a problem with it.

1. Since he's been working there he keeps his phone attatched to his hip and won't let me use or see it.
2. He started off having to be there 10-2am and now its inched up to 7pm-4am and sometimes 5am.. the club closes at 2am!! and he doesn't get extra money for staying later.
3. Every night he comes home smelling of alcohol and swears he hasn't drank anything.
4. Gets very defesive when I ask about his job.
5. Chooses his job over me ALWAYS. Didn' get off for Vday, Christmas, or birthday.
6. Claims he has to work because he needs the money.. but i've been taking care of him for 3 years and he has never paid me back for anything and always waste his money on god knows what.
7. And when i asked if I could go to his club to hang out with some of my friends he gets mad and tells me that his job is the only time he has away from me! WTF I give him my car everytime he has to go to work.

So does it sound like he's up to something at work or am I over dramatizing everything because he says im bitchy

[misombra]

so, why are you still with this person?

[Gigabitch]

"Bitchy" is not the word I would use to describe you.

Yes, I think there's something going on while he's at work. I also think that you're a total doormat and he's using the hell out of you. WTF, KidA? You support his ass, give him your car to go to work where he allegedly has to work three hours after the bar closes...doing what? He's a bouncer, for God's sake. I seriously doubt he's mopping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms.

What could possibly make you want to let this man stay in your life? How the hell do guys like this get away with this shit?

[KidA]

Well you see i've been thinking a lot about him using me. He is 21 and I am 19... he's been living with me for the last 2 years.

A have a really big heart and a lot of times I feel bad for his situation so I do everything for him, and get nothing in return. If I let him go he will be back on the streets with absolutely nothing.

When i try to tell him how I feel he says I'm bitching at him.

I feel like I should give him another chance. What can I say to him to get my point across in the best way possible. so that if he STILL doesn't understand, then I'll know i've done everything possible.

[Gigabitch]

Aw, hell. Chuck him. Someday when you're all curled up in bed with your sweet boyfriend that adores you and he's feeding you peeled grapes while you watch your favorite movie over and over, you'll wonder what you ever saw in that chucklehead bouncer.

Look, I know what it's like to keep trying to make a guy treat you right, keep hoping he'll wake up and smell the love, but KidA, your boyfriend sounds emotionally disabled. He also sounds like a great big loser. You can do better. I have no doubt.

[Indignant]

2. He started off having to be there 10-2am and now its inched up to 7pm-4am and sometimes 5am.. the club closes at 2am!! and he doesn't get extra money for staying later.
3. Every night he comes home smelling of alcohol and swears he hasn't drank anything.
4. Gets very defesive when I ask about his job.
6. Claims he has to work because he needs the money.. but i've
7. And when i asked if I could go to his club to hang out with some of my friends he gets mad and tells me that his job is the only time he has away from me! WTF I give him my car everytime he has to go to work.

any of those points would've had him out my door in a split second. eat shit bouncer. don't worry about him though, I am sure there are other naive girls like you who'd be happy to pick him up for a short while.


P.S. i originally put down "idiots" and then changed it to "naive girls" not to hurt Kida's feelings.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I can tell from your posts that it bothers you that you are supporting him without appreciation. What's next is that you have to learn to love yourself and put yourself before this so called man.

I do suggest cutting him off. He's acting suspicious and like a real asshole and shows no appreciation for what you are doing for him. It's time to put your foot down and let him know who's boss.

[Junket]

You're his bitch, you honestly think he gives a shit about what you think?

At best he'll act all sweet and tell you how much he loves/needs you and how he'll change when you threaten to leave.

Don't threaten to leave, or kick him out, just do it. And make sure you have friends or family over or nearby when you do. Your relationship is one sided, and it's all on his side. Find someone who'll meet you half way.

[The_bobb]

...I feel like I should give him another chance...

And then another, and another, and another... Just drop his ass, he sounds like a f***head.

Kick this dude to the curb and find yourself a GOOD one...

[LoveHurts09]

any1 u cant talk to isnt worth it and unless we are missing something then yh i agree with every1 else, he's not worth ur time.

[bluesummer]

Sounds just like my ex, who by the way was cheating on me the whole time.

Just dump him and don't look back. All of his words and actions reek of utter disrespect for you. Don't put up with that shit, there's so many better men out there in the world, trust me.

[Babeejulss]

Does he sleep with his phone on his hip? Wait till he goes to sleep and sneak a peek... If he comes home drunk.. He won't even realize you did it.

[flygirl]

I say, go to the bar at 2:00 am, park somewhere he cant see you and wait. You will prob have your answer and you can move on to happiness

[Indignant]

oh come on girls, you don't need to invade someone's privacy for that. if the relationship does not satisfy you just leave. you are humiliating yourself by stooping down to spying on a person.