We met up last night at the pub, to talk. She was genuinly upset and said she wish she'd never seen the post, i was upset too, which i promised myself i wouldnt show, but there was nothing i could do to stop myself this girl means the world to me. She said she needed time for now,and we needed to be apart. So we're now single. I said if there was even a 1% chance i would take it because i could let her see why she fell in love with me in the first place. She said she wanted to still be friends, and that she couldnt promise anything about us anymore. We agreed to go up town this friday for drinks because i said i didn't want to stop seeing her.
So the pub closed and after a hug we went our seperate ways, there isn't a thing that can cause so much pain in the world when someone you love gives you like a half hug.
I text her later asking what she was doing tomorow (today), she text back nothing. I asked her if she'd like to get lunch, she said ok, but she need a bit of a sleep in.
So at about quarter past one today i gave her a ring to see if she answer as she said i could ring her. I foned, she didnt answer, i didn't worry, becos she normally has her phone on silent. I rung it about 4 times before i relised this. I phoned her house phone and i think this is what woke her up. She text me saying, why the hell did u ring me so much, said you could call me, not overcall me.
I replied that it was because all the stuff where we was going to eat would be gone, she wasnt happy but text back, k whatever.
So she text me that she needed to go to the bank and sort stuff out, i said i would come and she agreed.
We went to the supermarket, and we always pay for stuff together when we was together, and me, being me, tried to do together out of habit, and she got annoyed. I got a bit upset, but i said "no problem", and she did it without fuss.
Also a bit earlier when her dad let me in the house, when i picked her up, the puppy which we got pretty much together came up to me, and out of habit, without meaning it, i said "daddys here". My ex looked the other way, and said holding back tears, "your not his daddy anymore", and i could see that it hurt.
I'm confused, she still likes me? Is there anything there? Am i being to over the top? The fact that she wants to see me today and on friday night say that deep down she thinks there something too. I'm sure if she'd hated me and not forgiven me for what i did, selfish and hating myself for it right now, that she wouldn't want to see me. I'm just heart broken and would do anything to be with her, a couple, more then best friends.