broken heart, advice?

[all time low]

My names Matt, I'm 18 and live in southern Florida.
Me and my girlfriend Kayla, she is 16, just broke up after a year and half. I dont know what to do with my self right now.

Before I met her Ive dated around alot, around 20-30 girls. But I never lost my virginity or anything. Every relationship I ever had was always failed and I was never happy. One week flings and puppy love.

Anyway I met this girl at school and we started talking. 3 days later we started going out. And dated for a year and a half!! Honostly Ive never been in love before and I am now.

So things were so good and she said she was the luckiest girl ever and she was so in love with me. But I'm only her second boyfriend ever as well. Well I think I ****ed up alot. around 3 months into our relationship I started ****ing up. I was flirting with other girls, nothing serious but she found out and like lost her trust for me. So from then on I could never talk to any girl ever! it sucked. Then we started fighting alottttt. Like summer time and we came close to breaking up alot. And it was all stupid shit. But she always told me how in love with me she was and how she would never let go ever. She was SO SO SO into me for so damn long. All her friends said all she EVER did was talk about me and we had so so so much. We both lost our virginities to each other as well. When school started up again this year, I am a senior and she is a junior. This started to get alot better and we didnt fight so much, but things fell back into it and we started fighting alot again. And I lied about shit and was stubbern, never cheated or anything like that tho. I guess she just got sick of fighting and just STOPED caring when we did. She said finally she didnt care and started to loose the feeling for me. Around our 1 year, we got into a big fight and she told me as this, like I kinda wanna break up ect, but we worked threw it and I did so much for her, but I started to slip again and didnt take it for granted. then we stopped hanging out as much and were not as close. And finally she found pics of an ex on my photobucket and it was the final straw and dumped me. And told me she just doesnt know what she wants, she just doesnt wanna be with me right now. and doesnt know about the future and stuff. she always told me she was so sure of me and could NEVER EVER break up with me and she really meant this too. she was almost obbsessed with me. we were best friends and lovers and soul mates.

she told me there is so much she hasnt experienced and wants too. And that she just LOST that feeling she had. Idk what to do. since the break up 2 days after christmas. Ive been a wreak and trying everything I can. Ive been calling her and texting and so much shit. But she said that me calling her is starting to annoy her and she just wants space. She still tells me she loves me more then anything and wants to be with me so bad, its just she cant ignore this feeling. and feels like she needs to do this, not wants. SHe also told me its just as hard for her and cries everytime we talk about it.

then on new years at a party i was with her at she was being so unclose and bitchy so i told her i didnt wanna talk to her anymore since she is doing this and she chased me out side and kissed me. I ignored her all the next day and she flipped out and was texting me like crazy and i told her i didnt think i could take her bak now. she then showed up at my house and cried hugging me then asked to kiss me. Then that night nothing. no call nothing. I was waiting. Then she fell into this again. so i was calling alot but it seems to get no where at all.

basicly she is the most perfect girl for me and i know how i ****ed up and what I need to do to make her happy again, but she wont go for it now. It seems so far to go back.

What do I do to get her back please. Im so confused and lost. After a year and half of hanging out every day and texting all day to absolutly nothing. not talking or seeing each other. I hate it.
and im always wondering what she is doing, and when we dated she never even cared or was intrested in hanging out with other guys now she has been, i know shes not doing anything she told me thats not what she is looking for at all. but it scares me.

and everytime i call her i just spill out everything and how I can fix it and for a second chance like begging her haha.

we do go back to school from break on monday.

please give me advice to fix this and get her back please@!@ I'm so in love it is killing me

thanks matt.

[TheSphinx]

And that she just LOST that feeling she had...its just she cant ignore this feeling. and feels like she needs to do this, not wants...

Sounds like this largely depends on her feelings, which she is very back and forth on.

Take some time off, get out and experience other women, even if it's just a friendly date. You'll have time to figure out what traits you desire in a woman, and thus will be able to decide if this one is worth such a high emotional/time investment.

~Sphinx

[Gigabitch]

No begging. Stop that. It won't bring the feelings back, and it's disgusting.

Either she'll miss you enough to come back or not. Frankly, the relationship you've described doesn't sound like something you should miss all that much.

[all time low]

yeah but I just told the reasons of the break up. we have had the most amazing times. We spent an entire night laying on the roof of her dads looking at the stars and talking, and so many times we would just walk places and just being together and waking up next to each other, she always cared for me so much and did anything for me. there was alot more good then bad, but there was bad. fighting. and the sex she wasnt very aggresive, basicly me always on top and it always hurt her, so I tried to be as "good" about that as I could, she still wanted to do it though. but it was boring, and she always bitched at me, thats why we fought. I never started fights with her, she bitched at me, then i got mad and stubbern and defended my self.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah. Read your post, there. More than half of it was describing the bad stuff, again.

Relationships have "arcs". It sounds like yours was good- for a while. Then it wasn't.

[nuevo]

Just tell her what you want/think without begging, after that is her decision.

If she wants more time, give it to her and keep going with your life, is not the of the world.

[Mathias]

yeah but I just told the reasons of the break up. we have had the most amazing times. We spent an entire night laying on the roof of her dads looking at the stars and talking, and so many times we would just walk places and just being together and waking up next to each other, she always cared for me so much and did anything for me. there was alot more good then bad, but there was bad. fighting. and the sex she wasnt very aggresive, basicly me always on top and it always hurt her, so I tried to be as "good" about that as I could, she still wanted to do it though. but it was boring, and she always bitched at me, thats why we fought. I never started fights with her, she bitched at me, then i got mad and stubbern and defended my self.

And why do you care to be in this relationship?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Ok from what I've read, it seems like you two enjoy the attention given to each other when you guys are on bad terms. When I say that I mean like when she was telling you how she wanted to be with you but she couldnt and you kept begging her back and stuff, as soon as you stopped begging back it made her start begging you back because she saw that the attention you was giving her came to a halt; then you started to do the same. It looks like a game of tag. First she denies bein with you then you do it then she does it. Also, the calling all the time and texting all the time is HIGHLY annoying. I had a previous relationship where I was with this guy who treated me like shit and there's only so much one person can take annd I reached my limit. So we broke up and he started begging back and tellin me he loves me all the time and it grew extremely annoying.Basically he was acting like a bitch nigga, as Katt Williams would put it lol. But anyway my point is She already stated to you she wanted space, I suggest you give each other space until you both are mentally ready to give each other your all. If that doesnt happen then its basically time to move on. Plenty fish in the sea. Its easier said than done but why wait until you get your heart fully crushed?

[all time low]

ok so an update. I'm sitting here at her dads house. He is talking to me alot and helping me. For the past 3 days we havent talked barley at all. and things dont seem any better between us, well from her side. So last night we didnt talk once at all. And it killed me. So today when we got to school, we drive together, I asked her why she didn't call or anything and she was like im sorry ect. and i started spilling everything again to her. And she was like Matt I told you, i already made up my mind and I just cant be with you right now. I love you so much and will forever but for now this is what I want, just to be with no one. I asked if she was happier, she said in someways, I just feel free, but i was never controling at all so I asked her, she just said free from the stress.. So like idk.. I just left school and came here. It seems hopeless right now. and Ive tried everything. and she says tehre is nothing else she can say. she lost the feeling but still loves me. I dont get it.. Maybe I just need to get on with my self. And not care and that will freak her out and miss me? I just hope we get back together, we are best friends and want her back more then the air I breath.

[Gigabitch]

You are not best friends. You need to detach yourself from this person and start conserving your own energy. Stop driving to school with her, stop expecting her to call. Take care of yourself. Protect yourself.

[all time low]

I dont know how!! I dont understand how this happend. Like before dating her, I was always a little slut. I dated any girl and didn't give a ****, I always flirted with girls all the ****ing time. I was really popular in school and was friends with everyone. I had been hurt before by a girl I dated for 8 months who ****ed one of my best friends. From there on I decided I would just date who ever when ever. And when I felt like I was getting close to being attached I ended it. but with this girl I took a chance because she was so differnt. I was only her 2nd boyfriend and she had never even done anything with a guy past making out. She was so amazing and cared for me in every way possable. But I was so used to flirting with girls that it took me awhile to ajust and when I finally fell in love with her I did it! But she had already lost alot of her trust for me. Thats why I'm dying so bad right now, because Ive never told any girl anything like this. I always held my emotions back and when I finally found the one girl I was truly happy with, she ****ed me over. Totaly ****ed over.

I just need to know how to get her back not move on... I don't want too move on. If it means not talking to her and dating other ppl for awhile to get her back I'll ****ing do it.

[all time low]

Also, I lost everything because of this. I lost so many friends because I completley stoped talking to them because I wanted to be with her. She still has everything, all her friends and everything. Even my god damn band practices at her house. But thats ok because we are going on tour as soon as school is out, but still. All I really have left is my band mates and a couple girls who wanna **** me But i dont want them.

[Mathias]

Also, I lost everything because of this. I lost so many friends because I completley stoped talking to them because I wanted to be with her. She still has everything, all her friends and everything. Even my god damn band practices at her house. But thats ok because we are going on tour as soon as school is out, but still. All I really have left is my band mates and a couple girls who wanna **** me But i dont want them.

Quit moping. Please.

I understand it sucks. We've all been there.

I've said this many times on here. Something happened. It's not happy. You have two options.

1. Feel sorry for yourself.
2. Do something about it.

Your move.

[all time low]

I feel sorry for my self and have tried to do something.

ahhhhh.

[Mathias]

I feel sorry for my self and have tried to do something.

ahhhhh.

Crying to her isn't doing something. That's just more feeling sorry for yourself.

**** her. Move on.