Hi ya, this is my first post here so bear with me please. I found this site while trying to figure out whats going on.
First off, I'm 30+ years old white male, divorced with full custody of my lil girl. Been divorced for over 3 years. I am over weight, "shy", the "nice guy" and almost every relationship Ive been in, has ended due to her cheating or just falling away from each other.
So My self confidence has long been shot and even through the last 3 years, I haven't dated at all. I'm not a ladies man. I have been with alot of 1 nighters "sex buddies" and flings, but very very few actual relationships. Ive found it hard to trust people and tired of getting hurt.
Recently I found a girl I dated for a month 8-9 years ago. She is going through a divorce atm and it just so happened to be around the same time I found her actually.
Well we have been passing emails back and forth and talking on the phone almost every night the last few weeks. Talking about everything under the sun and stuff we did back while we dated or various things since then. We flirt (least I believe its flirting) talk about sex and what we like and dont like back and forth and so on. And Bitch about our "Exs" How he is a douchebag and how mines a bitch. She Loves my daughter and my daughter likes her enough to name a stuffed dinosaur she got for her birthday after her.
Then during one of our conversations she made the remark how things ended last time, and how she wasn't looking for a relationship etc etc..
I let her know Its cool, we moved on and kept the same track of conversations.
Ive made the mistakes of being too forward sometimes, with the worse (atleast I feel) being me just coming out and saying..
Hey, I like you. Ive always carried a spot for you in my heart. And loosing you all these years just made me feel like I lost a piece of me somewhere. And I care for you enough that even if you and me end up being bffs and never going further, just knowing that I can be there to cuddle up and let you know things will be ok, that would be enough.. I just don't want to loose you again. She gave a quiet reply of thank you.
Well within the last few days, she received a text from a guy she met back right after her and her husband split when she went out of town to see her dad. He doesn't live near our area, but does come through often and asked her out to dinner. She says hes totally not her type, but he is cute and asked me how I thought about it. I replied with well if he isn't your type maybe that's a good thing since its a different change of pace and worse case she would get a free dinner out of it and a night away from her kids. She agreed and is still debating on what to do.
We only talk on the phone, she lives 30+ minutes away and with the her own kids and mine its been hard to get a chance to go out and see her after all these years. So we stick with our emails/aims and phone calls.
I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm actually paranoid of her even coming here and seeing this even though she never talks about coming to these type of forums.
I guess the question I have is.. What do I do? Everything I've read says look for body signs, but we never get to see each other atm. She is confused about what she wants and has stated she is lonely but doesnt want to fall back into a relationship. I've asked her out but she gave me an hesitent yeah sure.. But there is a part of me that says its how I asked her out.
So I again dont know what to do.
Do I like her? Yes.
Do I love her? sadly yes.
Does she like me? Well she would have to if she calls me every night.
Does she love me? probably not.. I just dont know.
Is there anyway to find this out? or am I being stupid and looking into things too much? Any advice on how to correct things I may have done, or point me in the right direction? Anything to help me know.. Is this destined to be a friendship(continued phone calls, etc.. and helping her through to her next relationship), or possible romance(dating, holding hands, watching movies and snuggling together and truly being there for each other)?