A rollercoaster ride

[Mia123]

The woes of internet dating have left me bruised and scolded.

The recipient of my "i would like to get to know you" request just after Xmas, replies immediately and says me too. Hence follows an exchange of emails via the website, then he gives me his personal email addy, we exchange emails again, then he gives me his phone number because, he says, he may not have access to the net at the mine site his is working out, and that i should send him a text to say that I have a smile on my dial. He then deactivates his profile so I can view his piccy. I tell him this and he says, sorry he thought I still could and that he will get on line if poss the same day to fix. That night he did and txt me to tell me so and to suggest I cut, paste and copy our details from the website then he is going to deactive again cos he doesn't want anymore kisses, that he wants a real one. I then call him. I say he could have a real kiss if he was here but he's not. We chat easily for 20 mins. I end the call saying I can't txt tomorrow busy day. Next day, Thurs, I get a txt in the eve from him, calling me sweetcheeks (has also called me sugarlips) and saying that it was really hard not to bug me with texts today. I replied much later, saying ok tomorrow to call or txt and have heard nothing. Friday night I txt saying "no bugging today, hope u r ok. Still nothing.

So from making me smile and giggle like a lovestruck teenageer (I am 40) multiple times a day for almost a week and calling me affectionate names, and telling me that when we meet his going to make me laugh and smile like I never thought I would and that lovers come together on bad days to make those days better.. all sorts of smoozie stuff I have fallen for hook link and sinker, to nothing.

I guess I'll never know why the change of heart, I am smart enough to work out that he is just not that into me and will not contact again. I am pissed off though. Send a girl on an emotional high for a week and then drop her without a word. It sucks.

[KodiHamill]

gee well A online dating = stupid and B you actually met somone then tell him "dont text me I'm too busy for you" then you wonder why he loses intrest. I wouldnt of texted you once after that personally. but maybe thats just me I would have no intrest in someone who didnt want to talk everyday especially in the beggining. and I'm not trying to be mean btw so dont take iit that way.

[vashti]

I am told by my single friends that internet-dating men have so many options, they can afford to behave this way. I suppose this means you shouldn't get too hooked on them unless you have met in person and decide you like them in real life.

[Mia123]

No offence taken. I did explain to him why I would be busy when I called him the night before, and I did reply to his txt that night after I'd completed my busy schedule.

And I guess the internet dating options work both ways.. its my first experience, and I thought I'd landed the jackpot, so yep hooked I was. Won't happen again.

[Primo]

Mia, you are playing awfully hard to get for someone who wants to have some no strings attached fun

Get on the stick babe, hot guys aren't exactly waiting around for your texts. There's lots of other pussy to be had

[Mia123]

Mia, you are playing awfully hard to get for someone who wants to have some no strings attached fun


Get on the stick babe, hot guys aren't exactly waiting around for your texts. There's lots of other pussy to be had

The guy is kms away on a mine site working 4 wks on 1 wk off, how can I be playing hard to get when he isn't even in town for another 3wks?

And I doubt he's getting any where he is.. there aren't many women at these sites!!

I wear my heart on my sleeve, its get me into trouble. I can't fathom why one day its hard not to bug me with texts and then nothing. If I've lost interest in getting to know someone I will straight out say so.. you guys play it differently, which is why you are from Mars!

[Mia123]

And then he emails me..

Upon returning from a workout at the gym (always good therapy when one needs to get things out of one's system) I had an email to Sweetcheeks stating mobile was out of credit, asking me not to give up and to call him. It was late, I knew he would be asleep cos he starts work at 4am, so I didn't call back. I will call today.. but I'm wary.

In my opinion where there's a will there's a way.. 4 days of no contact suggests that he doesn't have much will.

[Mia123]

Well I'm back on the love rollercoaster. I got told I should have rang when I didn't hear from him. I said, that would appear like I'm stalking. He replies that stalking is ok. That's abnormal male behaviour is it not?

We agree to txt each other at least once a day, even if its just a hi. He wants me to resend him every email I've sent him cos something with his ISP went array and he only has the subject line of each email.

Sadly we will not meet until mid March. With his 4/1 rota I'm in the UK for the next off week :-( Still it gives us both something to look forward to :-))

[qwertz]

i doubt he will hang around that long, and neither should you for a guy you have never met.

I dont understand how it can bother you whether you text one another when you havent met.

[vashti]

I believe he WILL hang around. What does he have to lose? The only thing you need to be worried about is the lack of connection when you meet. I have found that interacting online is not AT ALL the same as it is in real life.

I don't think you should invest yourself emotionally in this too much until you have met in person and determined there is still some interest.

[Mia123]

Will he, won't he? Who knows. Will we, won't we? Who knows. Right now I am flattered by the attention and the compliments. Astonished that me, a pretty average looking 40 year old caught the attention of a hot guy 9yrs my junior on an internet dating website. Its a good boost, not that I needed one. I am keeping my emotions in check...even if there is spark, at the end of the day the nature of his work takes him overseas alot. this doesn't bother me as I am not looking for a man to be with all the time. The whole FWB thing will work for me.

As for the texting...he wants to text everyday so that he knows I have a smile on my dial.

[Primo]

Mia, you have me totally confused. First you want a FWB, now you're practically betrothed to someone on an internet dating site that you haven't even meet yet.

If you really do just want a FWB Mia, locate a decent looking guy trying to pickout fruit at the market, or walking on the treadmill at the gym. Strike up a quick convo and if he's single ask him for coffee the next day. Unless you're unrealistically picky, I have no idea how you're not connecting babe.

[Mia123]

Ha Primo.. I've got myself confused too!!! I never thought cupid would strike again (last time was 20yrs ago) and through an internet dating site no less! I am realistic to know that the sweet nothings in my ear, albeit via text, could all go down the pot when we meet. Then again we could connect and end up having fantastic sex whenever he is in town and build something genuine through long distance dating. Who knows... I'm not into predicting or imagining anything.. just live for the moment.

And as for being unrealistically picky.. you bet I am.

[sookie6]

Mia,

I have had a few experiences with internet dating in 2009.
T'was great cos when you are single it is nice to still have this butterfly feelings of someone emailing you, texting you, flirting with you.
I also believe that people can meet on a dating website and fall in love.

There is really no rule...if it's meant to be it's meant to be.

But there are a few rules you should stick with to avoid someone virtual entering your world and taking you on a rollercaster.

After the initial few emails and texts...then it's on to a bit of online chatting...then if you are still interested a quick phone call is a good idea to get a further impression of him..

If you still feel an attraction then you should meet with him ASAP IN A PUBLIC PLACE, DAY TIME ..if you can't meet before March let it go until then...meaning no contact whatsover...

Then just before March get in touch and see if he is still interested and meet him in real life!!!

PS: if it can help I'd be pleased to tell you more about my internet dating stories...they are interestingly epic...drop me an email!

[Mia123]

We've by-passed the online chatting.. I'm not a big fan of it anyway and had two phone calls. As for no contact.. I can't see that happening whilst I'm still in Oz but I am off to England next Thurs for 4wks and will be busy with family and touristy things. If we are still in contact when I get back then a day time date might just happen.