So I'm 5 months in a relationship with a guy whom I love really much. He's an adorable person and we have a lot in common, the time we spend together is usually great and I enjoy most of it. I would really like this relationship to work, but there is one thing that drives me crazy. He's got ADHD and it affects our relationship to a great extent - there are times he's very attentive and sweet, finds time to chat with me no matter what, but then comes a time when he is completely absent, the cute smses stop, he is stressed out, feels distant and cold. During the attentive phase he realizes how his condition might affect us and seems to understand how I feel when he ignores me, however during the withdrawal phase he might get very irritated and blow up, if I even mention anything. It feels like an emotional rollercoaster - one week full of love and attention, next one - as if I'm banging my head against the wall. I don't want to look needy, especially after spending some amazing time together, cause this makes him feel like he can't do anything good enough, but the sudden change usually makes me very nervous and I appear more clingy than I normally am. I just wish there was some consistency.
I don't want to end the relationship and I'm willing to work on this, but how to understand him better and make him understand me as well? Not sure he realizes that it's not easy to just snap out of his attentiveness and be completely chill when it all ends, I'm just shrugging my shoulders and wondering "hey, where did all that go? Did I do something wrong?". Does he need medication? Should I just leave him alone? How to deal with it? (and no "dump him" comments please)