advice needed for a complicated situation

[Rinis]

This is a long post but its a complicated situation or else i wouldn't be asking for help thank you for taking the time to read it if you do

Theres a girl i've got quite a history with slept with her off and on for about 2 years now. I'm 20 and she's 18 (only one grade apart when we were in highschool). She got ahold of me maybe two weeks ago and we started hanging out again which of course led to sex, Don't get me wrong I love casual sex but this is a gorgeous girl i've always wanted something more with. the best way to start this would be to explain how it all started.

It actually started two years ago when i was a junior in high school and i was seeing a girl currently and veronica( this particular girl this surrounds) approached me and started talking like she wanted to hook up. Me being an honorable guy ( small town midwest if that gives you any ideas) told her the truth up front after we had been talking for a couple of days, i told her that i was seeing someone and that nothing could really happen between us because i refuse to cheat. she accepted it well enough, but soon enough things didn't work out with the girl i was with and veronica just happened to pop up again when that happened lol. we started hanging out. she was in winter guard color guard etc. and i somehow got pulled into helping on saturday mornings getting up very early. She was still seeing the guy she was with and about halfway through the winter guard season we got a little more serious and started sleeping together. She didnt seem happy with the guy and looking back i think she might have been playing me that whole time but she made it seem like she wasnt happy with him and wanted to be with me. being a naive high school boy i fell for it and of course fell face first lol after that though she seems to have strung me along never breaking things off with him eventually we got into an argument pertaining to the other guy and things fell to piece between us. anyway for the next couple of years every 6 months or so we might hook up here and there but nothing major.

but like i say two weeks ago she gets ahold of me and starts talking to me again. The first day we hang out i brought my cousin kevin with me. At the time i told him she was free game for him i wasn't really interested. At the time i wasn't interested in her anymore it had been 2 years since i had any real contact with her aside from the random hook ups. we went swimming with her and a couple of her friends (one being not in the least bit attractive and the other being too young for anyone involved) and afterwards veronica asked if we wanted to go to her house to hang out, though we had to run to my place first. when we got to my house i went inside and veronica and kevin (my cousin) apparently had a conversation about how she thought he was hot etc. This is where things start to get complicated. I didnt hear this until later from kevin himself though he's known to lie as is veronica. Kevin says she said he was hot etc. and veronica actually denies remembering saying it.

A couple days later i get a text from veronica again wanting to hang out with her and a friend i knew from elementary school but i hadnt seen for a long time cody. They came over and hung out for awhile and then cody left and veronica wanted to go chill at her house just me and her though her parents were home. i said sure and we left. while we were back at her place i was getting some damn good vibes from her that she was interested in me again i left feeling pretty good that night we didnt kiss or anything that night. the next day my cousin asked me if i had slept with her, i probably would have been honest with him but i had already lied to my brother and told him i slept with her was right next to me, so.... i lied. what could it hurt? i'm gunna get laid in the next couple days anyway right? wrong.

a couple days later yet Veronica wanted us to come to her graduation party we were supposed to go to a two kegger after her party and crash at her place. Well we go to hers and its all family then we go to this two kegger and no one is allowed to touch the kegs except the people the guy that bought it says are okay. Somehow my cousin got into this category and started slamming beer from it. I ended up staying relatively sober.

To understand what happens next you have to understand kevin as a drinker. When he gets drunk (which doesnt take much 5' 7" or so and 130 lbs) he gets loose with his tongue and gets kind of violent depending on who is there. He gets very stupid once he blacks out. When he blacks out something is going to happen every time.

We went back to veronica's and kevin was looking for a ride home being drunk and no more alcohol he thinks its time for him to leave. well that doesnt bother me any it gives me time with veronica without him to have her crushing on. She has made it obvious she has a crush on him as of yet i had kind of taken a backseat to be completely honest. well at one point he decides he's going to drunk dial my uncle mike and acts like he's gotten his ass kicked and he needs uncle mikes help now. I proceeded to call my uncle mike and tell him the truth behind it and he agrees to come get him just to get him out of my hair. well when i come back out i see kevin freaking out and veronica comes out to calm him down.
SHIT HITS THE FAN! he ends up telling her i told him i had slept with her and he's throwing a fit because she's hanging all over him hoping she can just be a little forward to calm him down. Instead he flips out starts yelling about how she's a lying bitch etc etc. and then he comes to me in front of all of these people i call my friends and confronts me about it. not in a bad way really just asking me what i had said. i told him no i didnt trying to cover my shit with all of them and make them think that he's just that drunk. it worked and everyone seemed to eat it all up except him he's still flipping out. we end up just telling him that yes we did sleep together just to get him to shut the **** up. around that time my uncle showed up and got him. the rest of the night was uneventful she and i kissed in the kitchen after everyone else had lied down. there was cuddling but that was it.

over the next few days we hung out more and more almost all day everyday. by the second day we were having sex. we hung out all day everyday for about 5 days sleeping together 2 out of the five days and almost a third day but everyone came home. we cuddled afterwards and all that jazz. we even made a trip up to the lions den ( adult store) together with one of her girlfriends and she was hanging all over me (that was wednesday)

we also had a conversation tuesday or wednesday, about my feelings for her because she grabbed my phone outta my hands when i was texting one of our friends about her to see how her friend thought she felt about me. this lead to a conversation that pretty much said give her a while to figure things out for herself as to where she's going with things.

*EDIT*
The day after that conversation veronica was at my house watchign movies with me and we had a conversation about her going to college this fall ( about 3 hours away) and her dating kevin. it turned to talking about our past and she made a comment about me waiting for her. Particularly if she were to date kevin she assumed i would wait for her to be done dating him. This makes me think i'm the backup boy.
*END EDIT*

but by the end of the week, thursday, she wasnt seeming quite as interested but there were also more people around the last couple days one having a crush on her so she says and she doesnt want to upset him if he were to see us all over eachother at all (we were watching a movie that night).

Friday was the true change in how we were interacting. The rest of the week we had been flirty back and forth all the time but friday was horrible. She invited me over before she went to her cousins grad party 2 hours away. i said sure and showed up. i was nearly completely ignored though she was with more friends though not enough to warrant a complete disregard for me. when it came to saying goodbye she gave everyone else a hug and asked me to grab her cigarette outta my car i grabbed them and she seemed reluctant to even hug me. though we did. she left hardly even saying goodbye and normally she'd text me the whole way up to hamilton michigan but not this time. the first thing i heard from her was that she was leaving the party and she was upset about it. I guess all the girls there were rich bitches about everything and they were coming home.

my cousin and i were not talking at this point we were fighting about him getting drunk and embarrasing me the other night. She texts me on her way back and says "**** kevin". i asked why of course, and she says i dont want to talk about it just dont invite him to your birthday party (coming up on the 26th i'm turning 20 on the 20th) i'll kill him she said. i was like well np because i wasn't planning to invite him anyway.

the next day i get a call from kevin apologizing for the fight i forgive him and he brings up veronica and says they got into a fight last night. i asked him what about and he says" well i met this girl from kalamazoo that came down to kyles(the place he was partying at that weekend) and i told veronica that i really like this girl and i'm not gunna string her along." well according to him she started yelling at him about how she was gunna date him when she went to college and all this shit. this shocked me because they hadnt hung out more than twice both times with me and i dont see how it happened that she got that attached. kevin has been known to lie though and i'm not sure if what he says is completely true.

for a basic summary got a girl i have a long history with and my feeling have sparked up into the full flame they once were. i want to be with this girl but i think i may be the "backup boy" the plan B. if anything at all at this point. I've started lying low by not texting her unless i have a real reason to in hopes to gauge her interest in me. so far its been 3 days and i havent had one text come my way without first texting her about something.

my main questions are:
does this sound like i'm the backup boy?
Could she just have been using me to get something she wanted? (rides to places, we did drive around alot)
What do i do?
is it too much of a cluster**** to be worth dealing with or do i just drop the whole situation?
i'm sure i have more questions just cant think of them now.
do you think that i might be overthinking the whole thing?

i really need help here and any help would be greatly appreciated. sorry for any grammar errors, if there are any more questions about it just ask and i can fill you in.

[Gigabitch]

Everybody is a backup boy to Veronica. She's a bit of a passaround girl, if you hadn't noticed. You might as well keep on with it and get laid, but wear a condom at all times.

[Rinis]

lol thanks that's at least a second opinion

[IncognitoSir]

Everybody is a backup boy to Veronica. She's a bit of a passaround girl, if you hadn't noticed. You might as well keep on with it and get laid, but wear a condom at all times.

Gigabitch, you keep it real, i likes that. This chick was trying to play you and your cousin. Bros before Hos son. Now she prolly pissed cause she cant get kevin and (HOPEFULLY) you dont date her either. Like giga said, keep banging her for what she's worth and wrap that ish up!

[Rinis]

i don't plan to at this point 2 random strangers opinions are just about enough for me though a 4th opinion would be great lol and yeah she does seem like the passaround girl now that i think about it completely logically

[VincenzoG91]

Complicated relationships always seem to be bad relationships.

[Kaius]

How do young kids get things so complicated? I was spinning in circles reading it.
Why can't you all just go to school, get good grades, and go to college with honor and pride?
This is total kiddie drama with adult consequences.

[Rinis]

How do young kids get things so complicated? I was spinning in circles reading it.
Why can't you all just go to school, get good grades, and go to college with honor and pride?
This is total kiddie drama with adult consequences.

sadly trolls always seem to get involved no matter what forum you go to its pretty hilarious.. i do agree with you though that is what it turned into... if you knew me you would know that i have never had any drama to this extreme in the past i just dropped them which is what i've decided to do.... but anyway back to my point people like you never help solve anything you just get on these things to talk shit and start shit over the internet.... nice epeen.

[Kaius]

sadly trolls always seem to get involved no matter what forum you go to its pretty hilarious.. i do agree with you though that is what it turned into... if you knew me you would know that i have never had any drama to this extreme in the past i just dropped them which is what i've decided to do.... but anyway back to my point people like you never help solve anything you just get on these things to talk shit and start shit over the internet.... nice epeen.

Do you actually think that your situation is unique, or that this girl would even be in your life 5 years from now?
Why would you even waste time and energy making a drama out of this? You have the option of just turning away, and not look back.
Oh by the way, I am a troll living under a bridge......I am also mentally insane, so thank you for your compliments.

[Cain]

Two years of her choosing another guy over you and you're wondering if you're the backup?

Stick it in her ass and pee.

[Rinis]

Do you actually think that your situation is unique, or that this girl would even be in your life 5 years from now?
Why would you even waste time and energy making a drama out of this? You have the option of just turning away, and not look back.
Oh by the way, I am a troll living under a bridge......I am also mentally insane, so thank you for your compliments.

Every situation is unique in some way, and i never said that she would be though there was a possibility you never know who you might run into. and why would you waste the time and energy to make worthless comments that don't help anyone in the situation? that is why the metaphor was created to call people like you trolls and the pleasure is all mine to give you these so called compliments.

[cmacattack1]

I don't know where to begin. This is a nice little midwest tornado of details and stories and everything.

You mentioned how things used to be "full flame". Where in the story was there any hint of being a serious relationship? As far as I can see, everything was strictly physical, sure you hung out a few times, but it mostly revolved around you guys hooking up. Why is it all the sudden that you want more from this girl, or expect more from this girl when hooking up and such was the extent of your relationship? She is getting what she wants (affection and a fling) from hooking up with you whenever she felt like it. And it was whenever she wanted, because I can't imagine you saying no at the time. Sure you guys had sex, and while it changed the dynamic for you, I think she sees it in the same vein it's always been in: hooking up.

Maybe something you could ask yourself is how do you feel about this girl? Do you really care about her or do you really just like hooking up with her? Be honest to yourself. Also another question you could ask yourself is what do you want? Do you want something more serious, or do you want to just continue having flings? We all get to a point where the flings just aren't cutting it and we want something with some substance. And no matter how you spin it, what you have or had with this girl does not have substance.

If you feel yourself developing some kind of attachment to her, I think the best advice would be to just drop it all together. She's just not good for anything serious, and she has a little growing up and maturing to do anyway. She kept you around while she had a boyfriend two years ago, and her behavior doesn't indicate any kind of change in maturity level from there. She's just not good. Any attachment to her would really screw your emotions up because she will find somebody else eventually and you will be history. That's the bottom line of the situation. She's viewed you for this long as something casual and that's not likely to change seeing as how you guys have known each other for so long. It's hard to see the changes when you are constantly in and out of each other's lives.

I'm just assuming you want something serious and you like her. If you don't, go nuts with her. But know that you are jumping into a minefield wrought with potential complications, and the fact that she's already giving you the hot and cold behavior around your birthday party is not good. She's fighting with your cousin? They haven't even dated!

Sorry, it just doesn't make sense to me. Veronica is no good. Don't be a Jughead. Sorry for the lame Archie reference, i actually don't know many Veronicas and that's the first thing I thought of.

I hope the best for you and good luck. It just doesn't seem like a very practical scenario. I know you feel the same way, you don't need our opinions to reaffirm your belief. Go with your gut, and don't be afraid to lose her. There are plenty on your horizon, and they might be right under your nose if you are caught up with this Veronica broad.