What should I do...do I get back with him??....I really feel like a cheater now:((

[soulassassin110]

I m 19 and my now ex bf 21.We were in a committed serious relationship for 6 months.Its been 3 months since he broke up with me.
The thing that happened...during the 4th month of our relationship we had a huge fight..he has been cheated on the past...and the problem is many guys in uni tend to get attracted to me..I agreed that to make him feel better I'll limit my communication with other guys.I dont have many girl friends...cos i cant get along with girls very well..anyways...We moved on.He doesnt have issues with my old childhood friends who are guys..or if I m in a study group with guys..so he isnt that jealous.

Now in the next 2 months..a lot of things happened.I had started talking to two of his friends.(they are younger than me and juniors) my friends had ditched me recently...I was alone..i needed friends...so I made friends with them both.One of the guys is a notorious player but yet he respects me and treats me like a sister as I m the gf of his friend (who is like a bro to him).

I had noticed my bf seemed to be upset..with me talking to him.He was starting to get distant.I explained to him that nothing is there..we are just friends and that I love with him all my heart.
My bf felt I was wrong saying that you talk for long hours with the guy...you dont call me.
Now the reason here..I was misguided..his friend told me ur bf..is just trying to control you..ignore him for few days he'll straighten..apparently this was a bad move..
It pushed him furthur away..ok..two weeks later..I was being considered for scholarship by the education board.I told this good news to my bf..later to my two guy friends(our mutual friends)

Later..on I had lost the scholarship because it was only being given to those..who are in the fina year.My bf was pretty sad abt it that I has lost.BUt at the same time he was upset..that I had told the news to his two friends too.He said they are ur family?that u are talk to thm abt eveyrthing?

I ignored it thinking he was overreacting.Now during the last weeks..he was going through tough times..his dad was seriously ill...and other family problems..he needed me.But I guess he felt I was not giving him time...he withdrew himself and didnt tell me he was goin thru all that.
I realised there was a problem I tried talking to him..he was upset..shouting at first "why dont u go talk to them!" I managed to calm him down and listened to him.Comforted him

Now 4 days after the incident..I was alone iin uni one day..I told my bf that I needed to do complete some pending work.Of course I missed my bf a lot.I felt sad he was goin thru a lot.After working the entire day..his ex player friend came to me and laughed he and my other friend were overexerting..and should comeout and have lunch.We agreed so I went to the grocery store nearby(this store is unfortunately...notorious hangout for couples..I came to realise that much later ) My other friend didnt show up cos she was still stuck with work.I wnt with the male friend to grab a can of juice then returned to uni..some other friend of my bf saw me while returning...and wnt ahead to snitch it to my bf..
Later that night..my bf came to knw abt it...he was furious..saying I m (emotionally)cheating on him..I m never there for him..and went for a date with the guy..he broke up with me.He was angry...hated me..lashed out on me..meanwhile I couldnt understand what I had done.I love my bf..and I still do.I couldnt dream of being with another guy.But I guess that I had seen the signs my bf was getting furious earlier which I ignore..cos of being immature..and being less empathetic..I tried making it up to him..but he said he couldnt trust me anymore.I tried everything I could to save our relation..but he said he didnt knw whether I loved him or not..
10 days later he got a new gf..even though he was not over me..I was broken hearted.I was clinically depressed...used to cry for hours.He reached out to me this month...saying he still loved me..and could start over again..
But I had abandon him at a time whn he needed sumone the most..(cos of stupid mistakes>>>)this new girl has been supporting him thruout and couldnt leave her and we could only be friends.I agreed..but inside I was breaking.He was to caring abt me..sometimes talking about the days we had together.

In the recent weeks..my ex has been missing what we had..he was trying to make me jealous...(i met his gf and she knws he talks to me and is totally supportive of him...he pours out to her how he still misses me etc)
He says I want to start a new relationship over again..reminiscing the good times..but yet I dont want to leave her as a friend.He said we could back to being as a couple again..but I cant guarantee you a future.
I have to see whether you truly have changed..to decide with whom I want to spend my life..

What should I do.. I really love this guy...I know I have done a lot of mistakes(probably not mature enough for a committed relationship..cos this was my first real relationship)..but this guy is like my soulmate.I have learnt a lot through all this..I was being selfish and inconsiderate..that time...should I get back with the guy? or move on..

[lovefool87]

Um you didn't do anything wrong. If your boyfriend has such a low self-esteem that he thinks he can convince you that you cheated on him by going to a store with a male friend then you need to move on. This guy sounds like a totally misguided tool. Just because he has family problems doesn't mean that you HAVE to stay in a relationship! His family problems are his issue, not yours. You letting your boyfriend convince you that you did something wrong tells me that he is emotionally abusive. I mean he talks to his current girlfriend about how he misses you? That is some ****ed up shit!

My advice is that you need to learn to move on. A guy shouldn't be so damn controlling of you! Stand up for yourself and refuse his advances. He is in a relationship with someone else and he needs to accept that. You can cherish what you had together, but going back to him isn't going to fix anything. He is still going to be an overbearing boyfriend who spies on you.