What a mess.

[mp4]

This is about the most difficult situation I've been in, in a while.
History: Started dating girl #1 in October, turned into a relationship. I was more than happy, we were together until January. She wasn't feeling the same about me anymore, or she felt pressured in a relationship, I'm still not sure. We split, on her call. I took time off for a few months - that brings me to now.

I started dating (younger by almost 2 years) girl #2 in March. That, too, turned into a relationship and was going (I think) better than my previous. I was being more myself, basically, and it was working for me. This girl is younger than me, as I said, which is one of my problems. It wasn't a problem in the beginning, I knew it could work, and it did, until when I'm not sure. When she is around friends, she acts more immature and hyper than she would be when alone with me, and I have no idea if that's who she really is, and doesn't feel comfortable being that when alone with me, the opposite, or both. That's one thing I'm always thinking about. Lately, I've been feeling that these things are starting to, basically, annoy me. I'd rather be alone with her than with her friends, for that fact. I don't, or like to, be in the middle of her and her friends when they are hyper and I'm not. In the last few weeks I've really been thinking over my current relationship and my previous (girl #1). I'll say it flat out, I'm falling for my ex again. I'm going to assume that's not the best thing for me, but I've tried trying to forget about it - it doesn't work.

Now, up until a few days ago, I hadn't seen girl #1 since before we split. There were a lot of my and her friends at the Canada Day fireworks, and she was there. I wanted to talk to her, I really did, I can't stand doing nothing and trying to forget anymore. I wanted to talk to her, but nothing came out of my mouth, I had no idea what to say. I managed to slightly talk indirectly to her, such as saying to a friend who was joking to her "that's mean," and make eye contact a lot. Yes, it was awkward, but half of me was looking on the past. She left much earlier than I did, I never got any more chances to get some guts to talk to her. On her online journal were some thoughts about thinking of "boys" and other deeper things. I left a few comments on her online journal as to that night, not sure what I was doing.

I don't know what I am doing. Am I trying to get closer to my ex? Am I still in love with my current girlfriend? This just a shot in the dark for any advice, I don't know what to make of any of this. I'm feeling extremely bad for even doubting my current relationship or feeling that way towards her, but it's how I feel.

[Asip4u]

mp4,

It does sound like you can't let go of your ex. You're seeing how the younger one isn't satisfying you in certain ways and the thought of your ex comes up even more. I dont' think you're with your current girlfriend for the right reasons (at least from what you wrote). Perhaps she's just there to fill that void?

[okibo]

Yeah, What I derrive from your post is that you broke up with the first one, this was something you were not ready for, so when girl number 2 comes up you have a great time with her at the beggining exactly for the reasons you said, you where being yourself more, you felt (imo) in a more comfortable enviornment, but as time whent by the void your ex left you with got bigger than the one your current gf is filling up so you are yearning for her again. Mp4 you dont gotta feel bad for doubting your current relationship casue only two things can come out of it

1. You find out you are wrong and you really love your gf and believe me you will feel closer to her

2. You will find out that your doubts where correct, and the you can take the proper measures to end the relationship.

Now another possibility is that you might have feelings for both, but since your current one is annoying you at the moment your ex seems like a better option. There is a spanish proverb (Im from Puerto Rico for whoever is wondering) that says "Donde Hubo Fuego, Senicas Quedan" translated where there was fire ashes are left. You can probably figure the rest out for yourself, You said you where writing on her online diary, I know how you feel ive gone through it and its old feelings rising up. NOw wether those old feelings die down again or not is up to you.

Good Luck

Seb

[mp4]

Thanks a lot guys; I'm going to wait this out and see how things flow. Best thing to do, I'm thinking.