Some advice/knowledge would help..

[Unsure001]

I am in my early twenties and I have a question...for the past couple of years i've been meeting girls through friends and we would begin engaging in conversations as if we were both interested immensly in each other....until I find out that the majority of the women have b/f in their lives...most of the time it's from constant calls on their cell phones while we go out to eat or watch a movie(where they would not pick up and I would say, "its okay, you should pick up")...its frustrating because i don't like being the crutch when women have issues with their b/f's...I don't ask if they have boyfriends because they flirt and show me interest, but then when i do find out they have a boyfriend they say that if they were single, they would want to be with me...it happens a lot and it gets me confused/angry..

Basically I want to know why women do that to me, why waste my time, making me feel as if there might be something, if there really isn't any chance for me. I'm just tired of being played around, I don't treat women like that and it gets f*cking annoying sometimes.

Hope someone is able to provide some insight...thanks!

[Gigabitch]

Women in their early twenties don't usually stay with their boyfriends forever. The next time a girl says, "Oh, if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd want to be with you", tell her to call you when she's single and wink at her.

Then go away. You're putting yourself in The Friend Zone. Flirt more, make it more obvious that you're interested in dating them. Women say that they want guys who are interested in the real them, the inner them. Sounds like you have no problem connecting to this part. I think where you're falling down is in the raw, sexual energy component. Yes, women want you to like us for who we are.

We also want you to want to bone us. Don't discount that.

[Mathias]

Women in their early twenties don't usually stay with their boyfriends forever. The next time a girl says, "Oh, if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd want to be with you", tell her to call you when she's single and wink at her.

Then go away. You're putting yourself in The Friend Zone. Flirt more, make it more obvious that you're interested in dating them. Women say that they want guys who are interested in the real them, the inner them. Sounds like you have no problem connecting to this part. I think where you're falling down is in the raw, sexual energy component. Yes, women want you to like us for who we are.

We also want you to want to bone us. Don't discount that.

Listen to Giga. She knows stuff.

[Unsure001]

yeah, but i was raised by women and to respect women. Yes I know that everyone has sexual urges, my ex actually wanted sex more than I did, but i'm not looking for just sex. I know it's odd to be 22 and not "playing the game" but thats just not me. The problem is that I do flirt and ask them out, but right before I make a move I figure out that they are in a relationship (that they did not want to tell me about). After that, it just feels like they want a fling, and weren't interested in building a relationship. I have tried it, having FWB's...but my conscience won't let go of the guilt I get after...i'm not into being the guy they want affection from when they are lonely or when they break up w/ their guy...It's like i'm only there for the time being until they find another guy.

[Mathias]

yeah, but i was raised by women and to respect women. Yes I know that everyone has sexual urges, my ex actually wanted sex more than I did, but i'm not looking for just sex. I know it's odd to be 22 and not "playing the game" but thats just not me. The problem is that I do flirt and ask them out, but right before I make a move I figure out that they are in a relationship (that they did not want to tell me about). After that, it just feels like they want a fling, and weren't interested in building a relationship. I have tried it, having FWB's...but my conscience won't let go of the guilt I get after...i'm not into being the guy they want affection from when they are lonely or when they break up w/ their guy...It's like i'm only there for the time being until they find another guy.

So then what's the problem? If you want sex, have sex with them.

If you're not into that kind of thing, stay away. This doesn't seem like rocket science.

[Gigabitch]

It's good that you're not into the FWBs. Those just don't work. Somebody always gets hurt.

And let me set you straight on one thing: it is not disrespectful in the least to have sexual interest in a woman. I'm not suggesting that you, as Sloth suggested somewhere lately, flop your junk out for them, but the sweet, gentlemanly thing can be taken too far. It sounds like that's not what's going on, since the women are apparently responding enthusiastically, but I just wanted to post my $.02.

Have you tried asking these "if only" girls if they have any single friends?

[Unsure001]

well they won't introduce me to them, and whenever we do go out she makes it so it's one on one...

and Mathias, it's not that I don't avoid them, I do all that I can to avoid them, but they aren't honest. I've even encountered one that had a b/f but didn't tell me until i found out from someone who saw her and her b/f together. On TOP of that, we had already been pretty intimate with each other...i guess i might just have bad luck..