You can do one of these:
- Accept your boyfriend is a slob and stay with him. And do all cleaning yourself.
- Have a serious talk to him. Set very specific goals of what cleaning he has to do each week.
- Find another boyfriend.
For setting goals I suggest he do these once a week:
- Clean bathroom: toilet, sink and shower.
- Pick up all his clothes, and do laundry, yours and his.
Just take baby steps with him. This is enough to get him started. If he can't even do basic stuff, he is pretty immature and he probably will not change in the next 20 years. There were plenty of guys and girls at college who had no clue how to do laundry. So they would take their dirty clothes home once a month. That means they were wearing dirty clothes for 3 weeks out of 4.
And if he doesn't meet these very simple goals, what will you do? Be prepared to do something before you talk to him. Hope he grows up a bit, but be prepared that he won't follow through. One thing about immaturity is people don't follow through.
As far as him not making plans with you, that is understandable. As a guy I get tired of doing all the work and making all the plans. I want my gf to do that sometimes, roughly half the time. Set a goal of him making plans with you for once or twice a week, 1-2 hours each time, where it's just you two alone, talking, going shopping, seeing a movie, taking a walk, or something where you two can talk. Doing homework together or playing video games is not what I had in mind, but if it works for you, do it, but be careful not to make these things a habit. Do things where you INTERACT.
Last edited by bulrush; 18-11-11 at 10:47 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)