No sex in Marriage?

[Stratusxp]

Hi everyone. This is my first post here at the love foroum. I wanted to get an opinion from all you out there. Me and my wife met about 2 1/2 years ago. We had sex constatly at least once a day before bed then in feb of 2003 she found out she was pregnant. We had our son in Oct 2003. The sex was awful all during the pregnancy but I understood that because she was pregnant and sick alot so I didnt expect to make love every night. As well as after the baby came I didnt expect much for the first 6-8 weeks. But since then jan 1 was the first time we made love 2004 since the baby on oct 31st 2003. But since January we have made love maybe once a month or once every other month and it has been getting significantly worse. I kept it all inside about how angry I was about it and never mentioned it to her. i tried bribing her for it or doing anything I could. But now its been 3 months and 1 week and I even, after a year brought it to her attention 2 weeks ago about how unhappy and miserable I was. (She knew I was as you could say i guess a sexaholic, I need sex to be happy The male hormone turns you grumpy and evil when your sexually frustrated) And shes also very attractive and turns me on alot and she knows it and i give her hints when im trying to make more of a situation. But since then she has literally REFUSED to have sex. Completely denied me. One night I tried, Rose pedals on the bed candle lights by the christmas tree and a romantic bath. All of it turned down. Not because she didnt feel good or had to work or get up the next day or the baby was awake. Nothing she simply told me she wont have sex with me. I understand that maybe since the baby she may not want it as much but once every 3-4 months is obsurd. I think shes having an affair. Been spending alot of time with a guy from work. But I have no idea. I guess Im writing this to see what other people think. Plus there are other ways to please a guy and she refuses to do anything no matter how romantic I try to be. Can anyone help me try to figure this all out?? Im literally on the verge of divorcing her in the next year if this continues. Thank you.

[karot]

Talk the her then consider you options. Maybe its a hard time for both of you but you arent even opening up to each other. You sound a bit stressed out, whos to say she doesnt feel the same. Get her alone in the room (which wouldnt be hard) and just tell her you want to talk. Its got to start somewhere. She may not be feeling on the top of her game anymore so its best to talk to her and then figure out what your options are from there.

[Laguna]

Follow her whe she leaves to go meet this 'guy.' You should contact that show Cheaters, they are good PI's. I did research on them, and they aren't really that bad. She might be having an affair. Think of the children thou, if she IS having an affair, don't divorce her right away. Try and fix the situation and ask her why she cheated on you, etc. Try to stay together as much as possible, don't get so angry.

[Stratusxp]

No if i found out this was an affair it'd be over b4 she could even get home. My son would be mine and she could go on with her lil affair. I am very angry its hard not to be. Even when I try to talk to her about it serius talk she starts fighting with me saying im controlling her and want to know her evey move and im her father and all this bull-sh++. So its like impossible which is what leads me to belive shes hiding something. Just wanted to know if anyone else had some experience in this or if anyone had some thoughs on it. thank yous for the replies.

[mikef]

Maybe she just have low libido after your child birth. I think that pills increasing female sexual desire can help. My girlfriend had the same problem. But then she was taking Sentia pills and her libido returned to normal.

[SuperTech]

I think you and your wife need some marriage counseling. She shouldn't be witholding sex from you, something is definitely wrong. It's better you deal with this sooner rather then later. Otherwise, you may find yourself looking elsewhere for it.

[schueys_girl]

I think you are very angry mate which is fair enough and i sympathise for your situation, but i do feel the anger is making you jump to conclusions with this affair thing. Please dont take this the wrong way as no offence is meant but if your wife has a young child, a job and possibly some housework responsibilities how on earth would she have time for an affair or even have the energy?! I know i dont know anything about the job she may have or whether you fully take care of the child and do the cooking etc so please dont be offended by this but i really agree with supertech, that you should get some counselling before you jump to conclusions.

Unconciously because you think your wife may be having an affair you will behave negativley around her which will only make things worse, and your son may pick up on this negativity (children, even young babies are very receptive of this)

It could be your wife is having self-esteem or confidence problems since the birth of your son, or even post-natal depression which has not been diagnosed. Sit her down calmly and have a nice chat with her. Having babies can do strange things to women!