This doesn't have to mean he has mommy issues or is a sociopath. He may be very sexually experienced and needs something new to get his freak on. I'm in my 40s, pretty experienced, and trying a similar thing (though I don't hurt people). And yes, afterwards I'm very gentle and loving and cuddly. I'm loving afterwards because me and my gf shared an adventure, it's not just about sex. It's about sharing something new together, pushing boundaries, investigating taboo, and power shifts.
The issue is, I'm just bored and need something new and taboo. Because taboo is exciting. But yes, he sounds like a dominant person who likes BDSM: tying people up and hurting them to some degree. There are submissives who like to be tied up and hurt. It really floats their boat. So when these 2 types of people pair up, it's a real show. As always, safety first, and have a safe word. There are very loving and devoted couples who get into some really kinky stuff, involving 50 needles, cutting, and things like that. But the recipient willingly does it because they like it. Some people are wired to feel a type of high when they feel pain.
PM me if you have a specific question for me.
Last edited by bulrush; 24-11-11 at 10:11 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)