loss of memory and feelings

[stacey]

does anyone experience memory loss of someone whom you once loved - be it an intimate partner or a loved one (including family member) ?

i used to love a family member and a boy. however, due to breach of trust and repeated hurts they inflicted on me, i've come to a point where i'm now indifferent towards them. i can't recall how it was like to feel love for them. i'm cold, unfeeling and non-engaging towards them. i'm not interested in them. it is as if my brain has switched off to them. memories of our past together, including how they are as a person, are blocked. i avoid contact with them. i don't feel like talking to them. i tried talking to them before, but they never got it. so i've switched off.

i think it's my subconscious protecting me from being hurt. for the few times that i went back to them, i was hurt once more. i can't be present with them. i can't engage with them at a deep level. my trust of them has been shattered completely.

i have a quiet personality and i'm not an attention or approval-seeking freak. after i tried repeated times and failed to get them to see my point, i simply let it be. they think i've changed. fact is, it's my perception and attitude towards them that changed due to the series of events which caused the change. as a person, i'm still me.

i'm not seeking suggestions to rectify through this post. just like to hear if anyone else shares a similar experience.