How to tell if a waitress/bar tender is really flirting?

[Crispy129]

I'm pretty sure that I have been flirted with by waitresses and bar tenders a few times, but I can never be sure if they're really flirting or trying to get a better tip. It's expected at restaurants like Hooter's of course, but I'm not counting those. Recently I think a few waitresses and female bar tenders have been flirting with me, and that kind of got me thinking again. So I thought I would ask some females on here to see what they think. Here are a few recent examples:

1- I was at a bar and texting my friends to tell them where I was. The bar tender commented about us having the same phone (which is a little bit of an older model) and told me that her friends always joke about how she isn't using a newer phone. I ended up having to leave shortly thereafter because my friends wanted to go somewhere else, so I couldn't really continue the conversation.

2- I was checking out a new city and seeing the downtown area, so I would stop in a bar and have a drink if it looked decent and hang out for a little bit, then leave and go to another one. I went to one for a short time and had just finished paying my tab at the bar near the little service area where the waitresses pick up peoples' drinks. One of the waitresses bumped into me and then playfully punched me in the arm and said "watch out, you're in my way, jeez!" in a playful tone. I was already on my way out, so not too much I could really do. Plus I wasn't sure if she was really flirting or just trying to get me to stay and buy more drinks or something.

3- I was at a local coffee shop that I frequent when it happened to be pretty busy. I bought my coffee, and then the girl who was making my coffee said "Hey" almost like she knew me (I had only gone there when she was there once or twice and had very limited conversation with her) and asked how my day was going. I told her I was doing well and asked her how her day was going. She started telling me all about how busy she had been the day before, that day, and would be the rest of that day until she closed and got off work in detail. I'm not sure if that place allowed tips (not all coffee places do), and I had also already paid for my coffee.

All of the girls were about my age, and I thought they were all attractive. I was kind of kicking myself for not asking them out or asking for their numbers, but I'm always suspicious when females in the service industry act flirty. Plus I don't want to be another jerk customer trying to hit on them because I'm sure they're constantly having to deal with that. Anyway, tell me what you think! Thanks!

[LailaK]

-_- It's called flirting for tips. Males waiters and bartenders do it too.

From reading your post I actually don't think any of them were flirting with you. I think they were just being friendly and personable which is a part of their job anyway. When a girl looks you up and down and gives you "the eyes" she's flirting. When a sales person says "Hey, how's your day going!" they are doing their job, ie being friendly.

Also, when I worked in a library I used to flirt with guys all the time (actual flirting, not just being friendly). Didn't mean I liked them. Just meant I was bored.

[enriqueshuera]

Yeah I don't think any of them were actually flirting with you. sorry. I work for tips also and I flirt with men to get a better tip. I always act very happy to see them, ask them how work is going, joke around with them, etc. When women are working for tips, they will flirt and flirt and flirt. :-)

[LailaK]

Men do it too. That's why I never take male bartenders and waiter seriously when it seems like they're hitting on me. Just flirt back and have fun. It's a part of the experience of eating out.

[lahnnabell]

I am a waitress at a classy little cafe/lounge. It is expected that I look presentable, make up, hair neat, etc. I also flirt with nearly all of my male customers that warrant it (not the ones with girlfriends or wives of course) in the hopes that entertaining them will also get me a better tip. I've had several phone numbers passed my way, date offers, and the like. Even if I weren't with my boyfriend, I wouldn't accept them because I know that what I'm doing is part of my job.

Men like to be entertained and doted on by pretty women.