Relationship Advice

[MilitaryGUY]

I am new to the site along with want to apologize if my typing (grammar) is full of run ons etc. Starters, think this a nice site, and good place to ask those their thoughts. Okay I have been in the military for 14 years now, and currently deployed as in my area of work in the military I always deploy etc. Anyhow; I recently began a relationship with my ex girlfriend from back in 2005. We broke up then because when we were dating she cheated on me and got pregnant for another man. So fast forward from that; we both went our own way, and from that I got married and later got a divorce. My ex wife felt that she couldn't handle me being deployed so much along with not being ready for marriage. Anyhow, my ex and I started talking about 5 months ago into my current deployment. With that she has a child with her ex, and he's also in the military (3yrs in military). So he recently got his first order to be deployed for the first time. Well most people when they feel they are leaving the comfort of the US going to no matter where he/she maybe deployed or stationed at feel that there life has changed from the deployment. Okay for someone like myself whom has has several deployments from 01 up to now it's like another thing we gotta do, and just make the best get our missions done and return whenever. Yet in the back of my mind I feel that he will have a phase of feeling he wants to work things out again. which would lead me to where I felt then when she broke up with me the first time heartbroken. I don't want to think these things, but mention to her that I do love her, and whatever happens happens. Which means that I do hope we can stay together, and want a life with her, but prepare myself he gets the kind of stage he may have" I want to work on us lets get back together because he calls and talks to her etc because they do have a child together" it will leave me to just prepare for the worst.

[vashti]

I'm not sure I understood your entire post, but if I read it correctly, it seems you are hung up on a woman that cheated on you, married someone else and had their baby, and then broke it off with him?

This doesn't sound like a good spot for you to be in. When that child's father comes back from his deployment, he will likely want to be involved with that child, and he should be.

Can't you find someone with less baggage?

[MilitaryGUY]

sorry my post is rather confusing. Her ex husband never loved her from the beginning as he told her, and they only got married because she was pregnant for him when she cheated on me a long time ago. Like I mention before; I moved on with my life since then, and got married myself, and my wife and I got a divorce because she felt that she wasn't ready for it along with other things that in my career in the military (deployed a lot). I respect my ex wife for that because she was honest with me about two years in our marriage, and we became friends afterwards. You are right that it's rather a bad area to be in with our past and now we have been dating for a few months now. I don't care much about him seeing his son because that's his right as a parent. Just know some people when they get into the first deployment stage they tend to come back thinking they need to work on what they gave up type of approach. Though I have been deployed a lot and it's like the normal things for us in our area of work. I just have those feelings that his time spent oversea he will turn him calling her to ask about his son into asking about them getting back together. I guess with me it's just a trust issue that I have but I tend to look at all areas of the idea that may come out.

[sookie6]

Lost of issues to sort out on this one:

Does she really love you? a woman who cheated on you, got pregnant with another man (so didnt even take precautions when having sex with another), a woman who now might feel lonely and realised that she has lost a better man compared to the current one.

What about her kid? Does he not deserve a stable family home with his dad (I think this woman should focus on working on her relationship with the father of her kid for the sake of her kid

Are you prepared to be a step dad and have the ex husband or bfriend be part of your life


I am not being judgement but you should really look out for yourself. It seems that this woman has found a way to get you where she wants. Why?
I am sure you could find someone who will love you faithfully. Do not hang up to someone from the past. Look into the future.

[the_robot]

I am sure you could find someone who will love you faithfully. Do not hang up to someone from the past. Look into the future.

Wise words from a wise woman. Listen to her, you can find somone better...
I think if you got with her back she'd end up doing the same she did the first time.