Do You Care About What a Guy Does?

[Wallace Stevens]

Obviously, this will vary depending on the woman. Some will want a high net worth man, while others would gladly date a struggling academic. Preferences differ across the board.

But I'm curious for your personal take on this. How important is it? Do some professions turn you off? Why do you care? Is it merely because some professions are good indicators of other qualities (e.g., doctors are driven), or for other reasons, like that some men are more likely to be good providers?

[ellie]

I don't mind, he can do whatever as long as he is into something.
As long as he passionate about something, and has some sort of goal or something he is aiming for. I guess being a doctor, lawyer or something like that indicates success, constitutes a safe money provider for a future family etc, but if he is an artist that can be just as attractive as long as he is passionate about it, and has a drive, is aiming to become something.

The biggest turn off is someone who is indifferent, a couch potato

[Kat14]

I agree with Ellie, a man needs to at least be interested in something. Couch potatoes need not apply.

Otherwise, it doesn't matter what a guy does, although I am personally attracted to men who work with their hands (I think it's the 'stong' thing), I wouldn't blow a guy off because he worked in an office. Your job isn't who you are.

[Wallace Stevens]

I can appreciate a good couch potato, because life is so hectic, and the easiest way of life is often best.

Thanks for replying. I guess that makes sense.

[Bumble_bee]

yep, I'm with the ladies up there...

[vashti]

If a girl in her 20s wants to have a family one day, and wants to be able to raise her child in a traditional setting, the male's occupation is important. It is naive to think money doesn't matter when you have kids to house, clothe, feed, and educate.

[bluesummer]

I'm actually completely unattracted to men who work in the trades. It's a personal bias, because half of my family are tradespeople (including my mom) and I grew up with it. The smell of drywall on a man is an utter turn-off.

I've dated alllllll types (except tradesmen!), but at the end of the day I always seem most comfortable with the same type......educated suit-and-tie types. They represent, in my mind, stability and achievement. That's what makes me comfortable.

[ellie]

If a girl in her 20s wants to have a family one day, and wants to be able to raise her child in a traditional setting, the male's occupation is important. It is naive to think money doesn't matter when you have kids to house, clothe, feed, and educate.

Of course money matters, but other things are much more important to me, such as morals, beliefs, aims, views, etc. He has to have a drive to be successful and an income. But whether he is a doctor, sales man, freelance photographer... I really don't mind.
As long as he has some sort of income.

Of course, I'd prefer if he was a doctor or a lawyer, but most likely my future husband won't be a doctor or lawyer anyway soo....

=)

[IndiReloaded]

Its funny how many women want to marry a doctor or lawyer but they have no clue about the lifestyle sacrifices that go along with those professions.

If you want a partner who will be around to share time with kids, home for family dinners, available for romantic evenings and to watch the kids activities, you are much better off with an 'average' joe. There are plenty of men (and women) with excellent incomes whose professions don't require the career/family sacrifice that comes with high-powered jobs.

Oh, and put TWO doctors, lawyers, etc together + a family = very difficult juggling act. Speaking from experience.

Careful what you ask for, in other words. Don't get bogged down by the television hype of Grey's Anatomy or LA Law. Homer Simpson is underrated.

[Wallace Stevens]

It's hard to generalize. Many successful lawyers go "in-house," which means that they work as legal counsel for companies. The salaries for these jobs are generally 150k+, and they require forty hours per week. In contrast, partners at firms work as many as eighty hours per week for millions. And then there are innumerable "unsuccessful" lawyers who earn as little as 80k for long work weeks.

[Wallace Stevens]

I think that your point about Homer Simpson is a good one. Ambition is overrated in a partner. A good man, with a stable job, is all that anyone needs in this life of mortgages and reluctant, passionless sex.

[bluesummer]

I don't think ambition is a bad thing if they know how to juggle it with their personal life.

My fiance, who's a banker (like me) told me right from the get-go that he aspires to go higher, but not that high. Doesn't want to be CEO or anything. Just enough to be comfortable, so he can enjoy his home/personal life while not wanting for anything.
Works for me.

Indi's right, in certain professions there are lifestyle sacrifices people don't realize. Money doesn't make the world go round. You marry a lawyer that is never home but puts millions in your bank account, it's not really a marriage. You'll probably end up cheating with a more 'available' man (or woman) of less means.

[vashti]

Of course, I'd prefer if he was a doctor or a lawyer, but most likely my future husband won't be a doctor or lawyer anyway soo....

=)

I'm a nurse, and I would never marry a doctor.

[bluesummer]

My girlfriend was married to a nurse, and he went to school last year to become a doctor (at 38).

They just filed for separation, because she realized once he starts working, she'll never see him again (and he wanted to start having kids). Her parents were pissed because he's going to be a doctor and have a ton of money. She told them she didn't feel like being a single parent, the money wasn't worth it.

[vashti]

I know it all looks so glamorous on TV, but really, doctors have to deal with the dregs of society every single day, and are always on call. They absolutely earn their money, in my opinion. I would never want that job.