Competition with boyfriend?

[kmr]

Hi,
I have been dating this guy for 7 months. Within those 7 months we have grown extremely close to the point where we both can't see being without each other. We are so in love, so happy, but one thing I am noticing is that my confidence level has taken turns.
Let me first say, that when I met this man, he was my dream guy in every way. Smart, gorgeous, romantic, and into design/art like I am. I had never felt so lucky in my life to have him pick me. I felt he was out of my league - only to find out he felt the same about me.
After 6 months - we went through the whole "6 month" comfortable stage. Most couples go through some more than usual bickering and fighting at about this time, which is normal. It's just a matter of getting past these tiny issues.
To cut to the chase - I feel that the few things in my life I felt proud about are sinking. My only talent is that I am a great artist, my boyfriend (although older and more experienced) is much better than I am. It is his nature to criticize (which as an artist/designer is acceptable, people do it all the time), but not only do I feel my one talent is not as great any more, but my looks. (I know, another girl with insecurities about her looks...)
My boyfriend got invited to go to an open house for a modeling agency. He suggested I should come try out also, but they denied me because I am simply too short. He ended up getting signed. So at this point my confidence level is pretty much died down. Neither of us want to become models - it just was a side project to make some extra money while things are tight. (I am in finishing college and he is doing freelance work).
Trust me, I hate being an insecure whiney girlfriend. It is the last kind of person I want to be, but it's happening. I know these are my own issues. My boyfriend is wonderful. I have never been treated so well - he tells me i'm beautiful all the time, etc. But I can't help feeling down now - as if I am not good enough. I don't blame my boyfriend in the least bit. It's great that he got signed and has talents, etc, but at the same time it puts a "holier than thou" sign across him for me.

I probably just need to relax (all this happened about an hour ago) or probably talk to a professional. Anyways, anything that would help me feel better about this situation would be great...thanks..

[carl1222]

You are upset over nothing. You realize that your boyfriend adores you, yet you insist on measuring your own worth against his. And why? Unless you aspire to be the world's greatest artist, there is room for you both ... the quality of his work in no way diminishes the quality of yours even if he is "better" than you. The fact that he may be the next Picasso doesn't mean you are relegated to drawing the parrot on the matchbook cover! Same with the modeling. So you are a bit vertically challenged for today's fashion sense and he isn't. So what? Does that make you ugly??

A sports analogy ... you are like a running back competing with the quarterback on your own team. Enjoy his talents and be happy you have enough of your own to recognize and complement them. You say that honest criticism is common in art. Take them as intended.

You should celebrate your boyfriend's gifts and talents, not compete with them!

Carl.

[chump4u]

Peel the "holier than thou" sign off your dream guy's chest and slap on a "luckier than thou" sticker instead.

If he isn't the luckiest guy alive, he's at least in the top 1%. He's got a bright and (short, but) gorgeous girlfriend who has the emotional character needed to recognize when she, not he, is the potential problem in their lives.

He's won the life-jackpot, and he didn't even know he was in the lottery.

Feel good about that, and think well of yourself, because you've proven that you're an unusual person: someone who can accept responsibility (and fault, and blame), then go on to fix the problem instead of letting whining insecurity beat her down.

...Which means that you're a superior personality-- right up there in the top 1% with your lucky guy.

Feel better now?

[kmr]

Thank you for responding guys. I agree - I do need to stop whining and really appreciate him and love myself. My insecurities are definitely a problem. Does anyone have any solid advice on helping one's confidence level? Anyone with any experience in this I would really appreciate the advice.
Thanks so much.