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Thread: Can the "no contact" rule backfire?

  1. #1
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    Can the "no contact" rule backfire?

    I ask because my ex of 5 years broke up with me 2 months ago, you can find more info on that also posted on this forum. Apparently now she has a boyfriend, the truth behind this is blurry, she won't talk to me and her girlfriend won't tell me who it is and other reasons. But anyway I plan on committing to the "no contact rule" but the reason I ask if it could backfire is this:

    2 Years ago I broke up with her because I wanted to be single and have fun with my friends without her nagging (biggest regret ever) and after two months of me not taking her back she moved on and started dating somebody else. They dated for 6 months and I didn't say a word to her the whole time until the 6th month, I wrote her a myspace message saying that I missed her and within the month she dumped him for me. Reason this is important is because while she dated the other kid I kept the no contact rule with authority and she told me "the reason I was with him for so long is because I wanted you to come back and when you didn't I thought you didn't want me anymore, until you messaged me." Why I mentioned her having a boyfriend now seems odd is because while we were broken up recently she said that she would tell me if she were talking to anybody else and only wants me and had no problem telling me who her boyfriend was 2 years ago. But at any rate, I'm confused as to what I should do, if she really has a boyfriend should I keep no contact and wait for her? Or is it likely she'll contact me after a time?

    I care a lot about her and our relationship and moving on is on my mind, but at the same time I will do anything for her. While she dated the other kid 2 years ago, I've been with 6 other girls and felt nothing for any of them but one and that girl I actually talked to again during this break up....which I told my ex about and after that is when this her having a boyfriend deal started.

    So as I will try to move on, I'll always be waiting for her because that's just how she is to me, but if waiting for me to make contact and assumed I gave up 2 years ago, how should I treat the situation now?
    Last edited by spiritofjosh; 02-10-10 at 11:36 AM.

  2. #2
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    Didn't you text her to wish her luck and all that? And she hasn't contacted you since then? Looks like the no contact thing is already in effect. So...do nothing now, I guess.

  3. #3
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    Somewhat yes, but it seemed like it was more left off on a bad note because it seems like she hates me for some reason, where her friend needs to text me not her....even though the way it was worded seemed like it was my ex on her friend's phone. And the no contact rule is in effect I just worry that while I'm hoping she contacts me, she'll assume I moved on and decides not to bother me, because that's how she is.

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