So confused...

[SubbySarah]

I'm hoping I can actually get some really good unbiased advice. First of all I guess I should explain that I am 22 and that on September first my boyfriend asked me to marry him. He is an amazing guy and we complement each other very well. I have never in my life been so truly happy! He just got a new job that requires him to move closer to me! so we have decided to move in with each other. I am extremely excited about this, but I am also been very nervous and right down panicky lately. For some reason I can't stop thinking about the worst possible outcomes or the what ifs. I feel like part of me wont allow myself to be happy for once, but another part of me says I should worry about all these things. My biggest concern is that I will worry so much that I will tear us apart. I already feel as if I have messed things up because right after we got engaged I came to him with all my worries and fears and I am afraid he regrets his decision, even though he has given me know reason to believe that way and he tells me he loves me truly and he has no regrets. I'm seriously a wreck and really need some advice from real people! I just don't know what to do...

[Gigabitch]

That's totally normal, SS. I'm engaged too and am also plagued with concerns at times about all manner of things about my relationship. Sounds like you're a worrier like me. Lots of people deal with this, and you can too.

One thing that helps is to remember that you're not the only one in this relationship, and that he's working on holding it together too. He wants to marry you, remember? Hopefully, you don't both get all freaked out at the same time.

I think if you're worried that your fears will undermine your relationship, you're lucky you found this place. You can vent all of your neurotic crap here and not dump it in his lap.

Not everybody will be nice to you, so just plan on taking things people post with a grain of salt.

[Dancer]

Sarah...marriage is a tough hall anyway you look at it. It takes alot of effort to work at a good marriage from both sides...Marriage isn't an institution to be entered into lightly, the bible says it and i believe that shit. Trust me, marriage can be rough at first, but very rewarding.

[IndiReloaded]

22 is too young to get married, IMO. Have a long engagement, at least 2 years. Should be long enough (barely) to shake out the heavy wrinkles.

[Mish]

22 is too young to get married, IMO. Have a long engagement, at least 2 years. Should be long enough (barely) to shake out the heavy wrinkles.

I agree. I remember myself and my peers at 22 and for all I know we were still just a bunch of kids, wondering around trying to find our place in the world. It's a very big commitment and big task to take at this age imo.

[SubbySarah]

Hopefully, you don't both get all freaked out at the same time.

Thats the thing...he doesn't seem to be worried at all. He is so kool with everything, when we have an issue we discuss it and then we settle it and move on. He truly helps me out when it comes to my worries, but when he isn't here I tend to just freak out and break down. I only wish I was half as mellow as he is!

[SubbySarah]

22 is too young to get married, IMO. Have a long engagement, at least 2 years. Should be long enough (barely) to shake out the heavy wrinkles.

Well we plan on being engaged for at least 1.5years...I want to graduate first. I too felt that it was too young until I was with him and it just feels right. I didn't even think I would ever get married, it just never was a big deal to me. I do truly love him though and long term doesn't always mean it's right...I was with my ex for 6 years and trust me it wasn't right lol. I know that this is the guy for me I just don't want to mess things up by being worried all the time.

[Mish]

I know that this is the guy for me I just don't want to mess things up by being worried all the time.

What may help you when you worry is when you look at the bright side of things. Ask yourself, is there any reason why things should go bad? You're with the right guy and everything is going well, why should the future be any different? That may help

[vashti]

I'm all for waiting till later to get married. Divorce rates are very high until you get closer to 30. Your insecurities will resolve themselves on their own, one way or the other, and yeah, I think they are normal.