Hi Anna.
Sorry to hear you are not feeling well.
Get the help you need. Be it professional or friends or parents.
I know how bad the pain can go, but for your sons sake you do not need to go alone.
At some point in the future you will also feel different things again but suffering for some time is ok and needed and no one will think worse of you if you just need some time for yourself
I wish for you to heal healthy and to grow stronger and even more loving and beautiful due to this experience
If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.