Confused if to marry him or not

[bebs]

Hi All,
This is much pretty long, I hope you have the patience to read this. I need your advise and opinion PLEASE!

I lived with my fiance for 2 years now and we decided to get married this year. I'm earning more than him and without me we can't have this beautiful house. I pay the monthly rentals, in short I am supporting everything for our living. ( This is ok for me coz I know I love him) I have 2 children in my country supporting them and he get so irritated if I send too much money every month with my kids. He ges mad t if I shop for myself. He gets so angry if I spend too much for myself.

My problem is he is smoking marijuana everyday and night like 3-4 times a day ( he goes to bed like 5am and wakes up at 1 pm) I'm working during the day for 12 hrs, leave the house at 7 amd come home at 9pm. we don't have much time talking coz he's working the whole day on his PC. I come home to eat coz mpsy of the time he cooks our dinner. sit awhile on my laptop and wait for him until 2am for us to sleep. But he will tell me don't wait for me you know I sleep very late. so I got very upset everyday coz he can't spend time for me sleeping ) of which I know that , thats the only way a couple to have a bonding.) before he used to stay at home he make sure that he is home before I comes home.

Second, he has got a friend years back who is rich and never talk or see him for more than 2 years, suddenly this guy called him to meet him just to smoke marijuana. so it becomes a habit already they meet 2-3 times a week and he comes home at 12 midnight or 2am. I really get pissed off because everytime this guy calls him he can't say no, and if ı get angry or tell him not to go with him, he will tell me, You can't stop me from doing what I want then we started to argue and he will just leave me alone in the house.

So everytime this guy calls him we will always fight, he never listen to my advises, he doesn't want my opinionsand he thought that I don't have the right to rule his life.
I'm a foreigner and I don't have enough friends in his country. İf he'S angry he will tell me get out from this house I don't need you, I don't want to live with you etc.... (more rude words) on the otherhand, if ı will not offend him and just be quite to what he wanted to do he is very kind to me, coz I don't say a word even if It hurts.(coz I dont want to fight or argue)
There was a time we argued about nonsense and I threw the glass with water on the table and he ran to me and slapped my back so hard that I can't accept it myself and hit him back, and of course he was strong he hit me back while I was struggling to defend myself. he hit me in the eye and blood flowed from my eye that I thought my eyeball fell on the floor. he hugged me saying sorry and I told him I can't forgive you etc.We went to the hospital with my eye swollen and he treated me nicely. I forgive him but inside of me ı can't forget what he did.
Two days ago we fought again because of his friend came and called him ,so he called me while I was on my way home and told me that they will go out for dinner so I told him can ı come he said I don't want you to come with us. I told him I wanted to come -and he said I will call you back. I -'ve waited for an hour and he didn't call me, I called him 7 times no answer. I called him againa and asked him if he's coming to take me coz I was dressed he refused and I told him ok If he will not take me out then I will go out on my own and eat dinner coz ı was hungry. he told me no and if I get out from the house I cannot enter again. etc.
That night he called me back telling me he will send food for me. and he did. the food arrived at 11:15pm and he told me he will be home at 2am. I called his sister told her about him that I was so worried etc. and I guess his sis called him to come home early , he came home at 12 am sharp and argue with me, telling me I don't have the right to control him etc. that he can't live with me coz I am so tight on him. etc.
Until now he does'nt speak to me and I don't know what to do. I am so annoyed and upset and hurt with his rude behaviour.
I want to leave him coz I know I can leave on my own coz I'm earning good money than him, but I love him and his family are so good to me. They always defend me and protect me against him. Do you think he is just using me? Do you think meeting his friend 2 or 3 times a week normal? Do I have the right to tell him not to see him coz I told him I don't like him. Do you think he deserves to be my future husband?

Please HELP! sorry though if it's too detailed.

Thank you so much for taking time reading this. I hope I can get an advise from you.

[vashti]

I'm trying to see what is GOOD about this guy. His family is probably hoping you will leave him.

[IndiReloaded]

He's controlling, lazy and abusive. He has *12 hours* all day to work and do what he wants to before you get home. He can certainly afford to change his schedule to spend time with you.

He's only using you. Like how some women use guys for money; he's doing this to you. You don't need him, he needs YOU. Leave him right away. Don't wait. You can find another nice place and an even nicer man. One who won't neglect you and hit you.

[lahnnabell]

What the other ladies said. Do NOT marry this guy.

[Kagerou]

Wow, don't do it.

[oneandonly]

He is an addict and abuser. No matter how nice his family is to you, they don't live with him and put up with his craps. You do. Honestly, what do you see in him? 'What's love got to do with it?' Watch this movie. Honestly, what's love got to do with anything with a totally irresponsible, selfish, lazy and abusive moron?

[VincenzoG91]

Getting married will not make this a better relationship. He will still treat his friend better than you. He will still smoke pot. He will still beat you whenever he gets angry enough. Be smart and leave him now.

[bebs]

Hi all ,

Thank you so much for your ideas and opinions. It's so difficult to leave someone you love but I am trying coz I know this will not make me happy, You are all right, please help me pray that I can get over this. (I love him) I am always thinking about his rude behaviour and I know soon very soon I can make my life happier.

Thanks again

[girl68]

Leave, and leave now. His family might be able to help you if they're as good as they say they are.

[Kayla]

Why do you love him?? He sounds like a spoiled, angry teenager.

[Gigabitch]

That's not love, honey. Love doesn't make you feel like shit.