Guys: Please give advice! Does he like me?

[manderbug]

I feel intense sparks with a guy at work. He did ask me to go to a concert and dinner but he didn't officially say, "Hey, you wanna go on a date?" or anything like that.

It went fabulously, and he insisted on paying for everything. There was alot of positive body language, but no kiss. I wonder if he's afraid I'll reject him and it will get around work?? I would have loved a kiss.

Do you think he is interested in me romantically given the circumstances? I really like him but don't want to get my hopes up.

Guys, please let me know what you think. I need a male point of view. Is this scenario a indication of romantic interest, or would he have formally asked me on a date?

[Morbid Angel]

I'm not a guy
but, take it easy, in time he'll let u know if he's interested. but for now he hasnt told u anything, so dont take it too seriuosly yet just enjoy it , but dont become too involved i guess.

no one will agree with me on this one, but like, if it continues to bug you then just ask him straight if he's interested. honesty and openness has pretty much ruined all my relationships but thats the quickest way to know just dont be too serious, dont wanna scare him off

[SteveM]

As a guy I'd probably say the opposite.

Dinner and a concert, paying for everything... would you do that for someone you don't normally hang out with if you didn't want it to be a date?

I don't know many guy who'd actually ask straight out "Do you want a date?", It'd come in the form of asking you do do something. If he didn't kis you or anything I'd assume thats the work barrier meaning if you rejected him things would get real awkward at work.

If you go on this "date" with him, don't show much interest because you're too shy yourself and then don't follow up onit or anything I'd actually say the likelyhood of him asking you again would be slim because it'd seem like your not interested.

Thats not a definitive anwser mind you, it's just how I'd take it if I were that guy.

[Morbid Angel]

SteveM, are you telling me that if you ignore a guy or play hard to get in a way that he'll want less to do with you? or think ur not interested?

im gonna have to rethink my strategies in that case

[Exodus]

SteveM, are you telling me that if you ignore a guy or play hard to get in a way that he'll want less to do with you? or think ur not interested?

im gonna have to rethink my strategies in that case

Thats how I think of it, if somone doesn't really seem that interested after meeting then I feel bad like they don't like me.

[dragoon]

I agree. I never really understood why women play hard to get. It should be men who play it, if anyone, because of how dating typically works. Men have to be the pursuer (usually). If they don't see fruits of their efforts, they pursue someone else. Women generally have to be chasers, and thus a man playing hard to get can be seen as a challenge.

If a girl doesn't show interest in me, I basically never consider it "playing hard to get". I just move on (unless I really like her, I might give it another shot...)

[PandaCivic]

if a girl shows interest, ANY guy will go for her. if the guy shows interest, it's up to the girl to decide if the guy will go for her. as long as you show interest towards the guy, he'll do watever he can to get you.

[manderbug]

[QUOTE=SteveM]

Actually, I wasn't playing hard to get or being a cold fish at all. I just wasn't throwing myself at him, nor him towards me. (Of course, wasn't positive this was a 'date', either.)

But I did go out of my way to tell him what a tremendous night it was, even though it should have been evidenced through the smile that never left my face as well as our subtle touches.

I think I would be more bold if I didn't work with this guy, but from the advice it sounds like he likes me....

So, what do I do next to keep his interest? Should suggest another activity? Let me know how to follow up!

[Ironliftr3]

It's a fine line, you need to show interest, be flirty, laugh at his stupid jokes, some physical contact, but be smart about it and keep your distance as well. Don't be too available to him, don't throw yourself at him, don't appear like you 'need' his attention.

Tell him how much you enjoyed spending time with him, but I wouldn't suggest another activity. Let HIM be the pursuer. If he's interested, he will respond.

It's all a game, but that's just the way it is.

[SteveM]

I think you could ask HIM somewhere... that way he knows you like him.

If your waiting for HIM to bring it up again then he might not. I'm just looking at it from a guys perspective. It's not about you being ice cold, and I'm positive you never acted like that but if he has to ask you out and you spend the night as "buddies" then a guy can only assume you like him as a buddy but nothing more.

At least if YOU invite him out it seems like you are interested in spending time with him. I just think your both too shy because of the work situation. Been there

[Ricky]

Takes you to a concert, dinner, pays for everything, "positive body language"... yeah, he definitely likes you. Don't worry that he hasn't kissed you or straight-out told you he likes you... he's probably scared (I would be... it took me over 6 or 7 months to finally tell the girl I love my feelings towards her).

I don't know about other guys, but I like positive feedback. It frustrates me when I throw affection at a girl and don't get much in return. Show him you like him too, and see where it goes.

[Bryan]

I don't know, I give totally conflicting signals. So it's not always what you think.
At school the other day this girl started playing footsies with me under the table. I acted like she was annoying me. She could have gone so far as to ask me out on a date and I'd still keep pretending I didnt want her attention. It's very hard to figure out someone's motives. If I truely knew that girl at school was interested I would have asked her out on a date, but I'm not sure! It's very hard for me to go from my normal happy go lucky school boy personality to a kid interested in courting. The transition is uncomfortable and embarresing, And usually keeps me single and lonely!


Bryan